Archways and Endings
by singyouhome
Summary: BLP and Breyton Friendship eventually. Brooke and Lucas's 15 yr old daughter has been the glue that held her parents together. Now it's falling apart, and Paige is left picking up peices. Full Sum. inside. AU Paige/Brooke centric. Endgame LP OR BL? Hmmm.
1. One: Back To Where It Started

**Archways and Endings**

**A/N: I know what you're thinking. Where do I get the get the right to go and start a new story? Well, believe me I wish I didn't loose the inspiration for Frozen in Ink but I did, and this is a story I need to work though some of my current life issues, with this piece of fiction. This is VERY AU. But then again, I think this isn't one of those which people hate because I've changed the characters. They haven't changed, their situation has. So I'm going to try to push out another chapter of Frozen in Ink and then do an LP one-shot to the song Lucky by Jason Miraz and Colbie Caillat. So read the summary below, enjoy this, and be good enough to review as much as possible. Also pay very close attention to the timeline. It's going to jump a lot. –Kelsey **

_Summary:_** Paige Karin Scott, daughter to Lucas and Brooke Scott has always been the piece that held her parents marriage together by the bond of her life and for the past 14 and a half years has watched it crumble by numerous affairs and her father's occasional spin back to the bottle. And now, two weeks before her 15****th**** birthday, and a few months from her parents' 14****th**** wedding anniversary, she comes to find that her parents' marriage is over, and then watches as the world she's known is ripped apart, seam by seam. Choices and made, trips and taken, and in the end all that remains in the balance is what Paige knows about her mother and father, and what she's soon to find out from a woman she's never known, but whose always been the long black shadow in Paige's life. BLP triangle and Breyton Friendship Eventually. Brucas paring in the beginning. Naley throughout. **

_Disclaimer:_** Again, I don't own One Tree Hill, I could lie to you and say my name is Mark Schwahn, I live in Wilmington, North Carolina, and I write television for a living. But let's be real here, none of those things apply to me. For the time being I screw around with Mark's storylines and play god, like I know he enjoys doing. ;) I'm writing this for pure enjoyment and maybe just a tad bit of praise, but not for any profit. I have no job, no money so I begging you, please don't sue me. **

_Rating:_** T (just to be safe, because you never know with me) ;) **

_Story Dedicated to: _**Lalez and ReeseHolden-Because both of you are to be nice enough to read and give really good feedback on everything I've written. You are probably two of my favorite fan fiction people that I've ever had contact with. Thanks for all you do for me, it's small but it's worth so much to me. You two are awesome:)**

**By the way if you comment frequently, you might get a chapter dedicated to you. [I love dedicating chapters to people, it makes me smile]**

**REMEMBER: WATCH THE TIME LINE!! OR YOU SHALL BE REALLY CONFUSED!!**

**Most of story is in Paige's Point of View, unless otherwise stated….**

**--------**

**One: Back to Where It Started**

_July 21, 2017_

_Tree Hill, North Carolina _

_**Paige**_

This house kills me. Although I come here almost every weekend, willingly and happily, I hate it. Aunt Haley and Uncle Nathan's house is always bustling, things constantly happening. My cousins are always running around, screaming, and sliding across the oak floors. My mom always needs to talk to Haley about something, especially since we've come back home. So I come, and always offer to look after my cousins or shoot a few hoops in the back with Uncle Nathan. I could be anywhere in this house, and I always venture to the same spot over and over, the sunroom.

It's beautiful, really. It faces the creek, and the sun always sets right on the horizon in the center of the water. It's beautiful and I see why my parent's choose this spot as the location for their wedding. I find myself standing in the doorway, leaning against the frame work. This is the spot my mother stood, years ago. It's over, now. And when it was finally over it felt like the day something so close to me died, and I was crushed. But then apart of me, the better part, the stronger part, felt that it was like a day of birth, the opportunity for something new and wonderful to begin.

I feel split, almost and totally torn between my parents. My father, who once stood in the spot across from me, is a man who has always wanted what's best for me, in every aspect of the word. He is strong, articulate, and one of those god-honest old souls, that makes you always want to come to him for advice. Daddy's problem is he is one of the most indecisive people I have ever met. That flaw, that wedge, stood in the way of his relationship with my mother.

My mother is Brooke Penelope Davis-Scott and I know you might not know much about her, but she something spectacular. My mother has been working in fashion marketing, for about five years. Even though her dream has only and ever been to be a fashion designer, but life happens or so she tells me. She is beautiful, clever, childish, witty, and artistic. She's my best friend, but sometimes we fight like there is no tomorrow.

This is the place it started, the union, the marriage of Lucas and Brooke Scott, my parents. It's one of the hardest things to let go off, because it becomes so much apart of you, your identity, who you are. I am a piece of the two, and perhaps a piece of someone else too. It's almost like your hair color, or your name, you wear it like some people wear their heart, right on your sleeve. It never goes away, these two people who taught you everything you know, they just break away from each other, and it breaks down on you too.

"Paige," I turn to see my mother standing the doorway, her dark chestnut hair is wisped around her face.

"Yeah mom,"

"We're leaving soon, so make sure you say good-bye to the Scotts." I hate how she says that and I think by the look on my face she can see it too.

I turn back and look outside and push all my weight on the doorframe. It's a beautiful sight, the water. Almost tragic.

"Mom," I whisper pushing my curls behind my ear. "I'm sorry," my voice is cracking and I hate to show this weakness to her, she's so strong.

She rushes over to me and wraps her arms tightly around me. I breathe in her sent, romantic and relaxing, it's her, and she's safe.

"Oh Paige honey," She coos trying to calm me, my breathing becomes heavy. Why am I so sad?

"None of this is your fault, you know that your dad loves you, you do."

"But why?" I say sniffling; the tears began to pour out of my blue eyes. Everything is wrong, so wrong.

She kisses my cheek, and breathes in deeply. "Paige, it was never meant to be, I showed you remember?"

I nod my head up and down, as if I'm trying to convince myself too. I can't believe it like she does. Though, I've never walked in her shoes and I can't fathom the idea, it makes me sick.

I feel her arms, clench around me tighter, she's holding on for dear life, for both of our lives.

"You'll see, one day I'll be happy and you'll see. You'll finally know what you deserve. Not half ass, but everything. I want that for you Paige." I feel the weight of her head on my shoulder, she's my safe haven, god she's my savior.

"Okay, mommy." I say though my tears. And I haven't called her mommy since I was eight. This is the moment, the moment where I know that we're going to survive this. I feel it, and she knows it, she's always known it.

"Good," she says and let's go, only to link her hand with mine. I move my finger over the spot her wedding band used to reside; I rub over it again and again, just to make sure that I'm not having a bad dream. I see the thin white tan line that covers her slender finger and I know that this past year, hasn't been a bad dream, it's been everything.

She bites down on her lip, she's heartbreakingly beautiful. I realize that this woman standing in front of me, the one who gave me life, is the best mother I could ever ask for.

"I love you mom"

"You too, baby."

It all began in the archway of that door in the sunroom. My parents exchanged vows, while I sat in my grandmother's lap, a baby having no idea what was happening. Who knew almost fourteen years later, my heart would be breaking because things didn't work out with the two high school lovers, who are my parents. Divorce changes people, I'm not a whinny little girl who can't handle when things don't go my way, I am just a person who's heart is hurting over something I had to come out of, the breaking up of my family, which hurts way worse than it ever would be with some boy.

It started in the archway, and it ended with a simple and sad goodbye.

_**-TBC-**_

**Short and a tad confusing, you'll understand as more chapters come out, hopefully. Please tell me what you think. :)**

**Rules for Updates: **

**I just wanted to tell you guys how I'm going to be operating the update system. **

**If I get a total of 20 Reviews for this chapter (and every chapter after) I will update the next day after posting. **

**If I don't get 20 Reviews but I get close (17-19) then I will review two days after original posting date. **

**If I don't get close to 20 Reviews at all, then I will update 7-10 days after original posting date. (Maybe five it depends on length of next posted chapter)**

**I know it sounds rather demanding, but it's like that so I can have a schedule to work with, because even though I am the most random and unorganized person that ever lived, it helps me write and produce better material. So please remember your review counts. (Kind of like a vote in the election) I allow anonymous reviews too, so if your not a registered user (or not logged on) you can still review, and it counts. But if you don't have an account, you should sign up, because there are really great people on this site, and I LOVE talking to fellow writers and readers about the show or whatever else. **

**PRESS THE BUTTON!! YOU CAN DO IT!**** :) **


	2. Two: Just Another Night

**Archways and Endings**

**A/N: Remember reviews are the nicest thing you could ever do for me. Let's stick with the goal of 20 for this chapter. If you need any more clarification, about what's going on, then feel free to PM me, but I really think this longer, more detailed chapter will help you grasp a lot more of the plotline but not all of it, because what kind of story would it be, if I gave away the whole plot, in the second chapter. I'm giving you this chapter early because I'm really not feeling well, so my next posting might be a little late. **

**Response to Reviews:  
**_Empty eyes_**- I am leyton fan, but I am finding that some brucas isn't that bad. Not all the story will be told in Paige's POV, but a lot of it if will, especially because it is Paige-centric. **

_Stagediva23_**-you got it, I will totally follow your rules too :) **

_SV_**- Paige is medium height; She has curly dark brown hair, Lucas's eyes and nose, Brooke's lips. But she reminds all of Tree Hill of someone else…**

**And everyone else- enjoy your update and thank you so much! I'm not officially calling a couple, because that gives too much of the story away. Just think about what Brooke said first chapter. I did label it as Brooke and Lucas because it's about their divorce and about their daughter, Paige. Enjoy!**

**--**

**Two: Just Another Night **

_May 18, 2016_

_Tree Hill, North Carolina_

_**Paige**_

Tomorrow is my 14th birthday, and while most kids want a cell phone or a new laptop, what I want most in the world is for my father to stop drinking. He sits in his usual spot in the den, nursing a shooter of hard liquor in his right hand, a smug grin on his face. His publication was rejected **again.** It's times like these when I wonder if he is truly my father or some drone that came to take his place for the night. He has officially checked out.

"Paige," he calls out to me. He can see me peering in from over the doorway.

"Yes, Daddy." I respond sweetly because he can't get upset with me or he'll just drink more.

I stand before him shaking like a leaf and I have no idea why. "When's your mom getting home?" he asked placing his glass on the end table next to him.

"Umm she told me she'd be home around 7:30; her and Clarissa had to work a few more hours on the new Macy's campaign."

"Damn it, I wanted to go get some drinks with Junk at Tric but your mom isn't getting home in time to look after you," It astounds me that he's still worried about my safety when his blood alcohol level is probably through the roof.

"Well I could just go with you," I say because I've never been to Tric before, and since my grandma half owns it, I've always wanted to take a peek inside.

He looks at me for a moment, like I'm someone else entirely; I'm holding my breath and looking into his bloodshot blue eyes and I really am trying hard to read that expression he's wearing on his face. The sad thing is I don't know why he's looking at me like he's seen a ghost

"You know that's you can't go in there, baby." He whispers and turns his head away from me. He turns his attention back to his liquor and picks the glass up off the table.

He takes another swig of his drink and smiles at me, and I'm hoping he doesn't say what I think he's about to.

"You know what, you're old enough to stay at home by yourself, what are you 15 now?" I shake my head and feel tears building in my eyes. He can never remember right when he's drunk.

"No, I'm almost 14." I whisper just loud enough so he can hear me.

"Close enough," he says and gets up out of his lazy boy, and brushes past me. I stand still and hear as he staggers around for his car keys, sweatshirt, and then I hear the front door slam. I run toward the front window to watch as he starts the car, and pulls out of the driveway. He's gone and he could hurt somebody.

So I fix the pulled back blinds and dig in my pocket, for my cell phone, and follow the plan Mom and I set up a long time ago. I dial Aunt Haley.

"Paige, good I'm glad you called, do you want Vanilla or Cream Cheese frosting on your cake?" Haley voice beams as she picks up the phone.

"Does it matter?" I ask giggling at her.

"Of course it does honey. It's your birthday."

"Umm." I say contemplating for a moment, it really doesn't matter anyway. My dad just ruined my birthday. "You pick."

"Vanilla with Vanilla it is." She says and I hear her licking her fingers. "So, what's up honey bun?"

"It's dad." I whisper, the cheeriness Aunt Haley had suddenly brought to my day eliminated.

"Is Lucas drinking again, Paige?" She asks voice serious, the licking of her fingers subsiding.

"Yes," I answer and I start crying. "He was drunk when I got home from school and then he took the car a few minutes ago to Tric."

"Did he tell you what happened?" She asks. I know she loves my dad like a brother and it hurts her when he does this.

"Yeah," I say wiping the tears from my eyes. "His book got rejected from another two publishers, but usually when this happens he just had a few drinks at home, he usually doesn't go to a bar."

I hear Haley breathe deeply into the phone. A few silent moments pass and finally she breathes out my name, "Paige,"

"Yeah Aunt Haley,"

"What's today's date?" She asks. And I wonder why she'd ask such a crazy question, when she most definitely knows the answer and it seems like she just needs my conformation.

"May 19th, why?"

"Because," she says exhaling loudly. "I don't think your dad is at Tric."

---

We pulled Mom's SVU into the cemetery a few hours after Dad had first left. My mom was driving, Haley in the passenger seat, and me in the back. My mother drove the whole way here like a mad woman. She cursed and she and Haley whispered, so I could only make out as little as possible.

"_It's her birthday, Brooke. Think of a better reason he'd be here," _

"_Hales, please don't bring Pey… her in to this. She's gone." _

"_Brooke," _

"_We just need to find Luke and get him home okay?" _

_Haley reached over a squeezed my mothers hand. _

"_Okay," _

My Aunt and mom rush out of the car, quickly running toward a headstone, where I see the figure of a man who looks nothing the father I know, or at least used to know.

He's thin, and looks sickly. His blonde hair is a mess, running in every which direction. I can almost see his blue eyes penetrating mine, the ones that use to match mine, but no longer do because of the red bloodshot that covers them like roads on a map. He sits on his knees, bent over like a man begging someone for forgiveness, for life, and I can't help but think of the irony of this moment. **He should be on his knees.**

I see a scene unfolding in front of me, all though I can't hear the words, I see the angry motions my mother makes, her hands thrown up in the air, my father, slumped and pitiful on the ground, Aunt Haley crying off to the side. I really have no idea what the hell is going on, I am massively confused. This is about more than my father's drinking; this is about more than is inability to provide for us. This is so much more.

----

That night I lie awake in my bed, listing closely to the sounds that bounce off the surrounding walls. My mother is screaming at the top of her lungs. I can hear Uncle Nathan and Aunt Haley as well. They are trying to send my father away. And I'm torn on whether or not I want him to go.

"_Lucas, this is what's best for you," _Haley begs.

"_No," my father responds like a child not getting his way. _

"_Damn it, Luke!" My mother screams. "She's gone! Get it through your damn mind Peyton's not here." _

This is the first time I've ever herd the name, Peyton. My head starts to spin, who is Peyton?

"_Don't you think I know that?" My father yells. "I married you! I love you! I picked you!" _

"_Then get some help, Lucas." Uncle Nathan's voice comes in. "Keep Brooke and Paige around. Go to rehab."_

"_Or go to AA, please." Haley says softly._

"_Alright, alright I'll go to AA." My dad says with all the conviction in the world. I hear my mom began to sob and the sound of a chair being scooted across the hardwood floors. _

"_I love you, Lucas." My mom says to him. _

"_I love you too, pretty girl." _

I close my eyes and sleep takes over me, it's just a night, just another night.

_**-TBC-**_


	3. Three: Hold Your Breath Till it's Over

**Archways and Endings**

**A/N: What kind of storyteller would I be if I confirmed Peyton's death in an author note? So for those who asked if Peyton died, well I'm not saying a word. Thanks for the awesome response last chapter, I've never written something like this, so I'm trying to give you guys the storyline in small increments without giving too much away. Reviews are awesome and they keep my going. This might not be my best work and I'm sorry if it doesn't meet you guys' expectations. I also am SO SORRY for not updating at the time promised, god I lost track of time with all the end of the school year mania. I hope you aren't too mad.**

**Team Sophia: I understand totally, I'm not trying to crush brucas fans, trick you, or convert you. I'm telling you a story, and I hope you continue to enjoy it. [We already talked about it, but I just wanted to say so again :)] **

**Lalez: Sabine, your right I'm a very silly girl aha. I'm so glad your enjoying this. Your support makes me smile. **

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed last chapter, I hope you like this chapter and just so everyone knows I have a sequel in mind, and I'm only on the third chapter. Laugh at me and encourage me, so hopefully I'll get to that point. **

**Chapter dedicated to: Empty eyes- You might just get your answer :)**

**-Kelsey**

**--**

**Three: Hold Your Breath Till it's Over**

_May 19, 2016_

_Tree Hill, North Carolina_

_**Paige**_

I thought that when I woke up this morning that some big change would have occurred, something so big, that when I arrived in the kitchen, the world would have stopped, or something. But what I found was my father sitting at the island drinking coffee, and my mother preparing breakfast. It seemed so normal, almost like yesterday never happened. But I knew yesterday happened, and so did they.

"Paige, morning." My dad says turning his attention toward me.

"Happy Birthday, baby!"

I smile at my mother and run my fingers through my messy morning curls. I walk over to her and kiss her cheek, taking a look at what she's making for breakfast.

"Pancakes," I whisper sadly disappointed.

"Thanks wifey," My dad says smiling. "My favorite,"

She looks back at him with a huge grin on her face, that's when I know they made up, and it pisses me off, because he gets sober for a day, plans to go to AA and it's all okay, but then it's my birthday and we are eating pancakes and I hate pancakes.

I choose to ignore him, I don't meet his eyes, and I don't want to. I'm not so easy to forget yesterday, I can't.

"Paige," My mother whispers knocking me out of my unconscious state.

"Hmmm…"

"Your dad was talking to you,"

"Sorry, what did you say?"

"Nothing, Paige. Happy Birthday, honey."

"Thanks Dad." He smiles a slim half glint smile at me.

I sit beside my dad and my mother places a plate of golden fluffy pancakes in front of me, I almost want to vomit.

"So baby cakes, is there anything special you want to do for your birthday? We have all day until we go to Hales and Nathan's for dinner."

"I don't know Mom,"

"Paige! Come on, there's nothing you want to do?"

"Yeah, I know the perfect thing! I'll go check the mail." I respond sarcastically and a tad bitter.

I get up and stomp toward the front door, and the anger in me is bursting out from every pore in my being, and I can't explain why.

"Paige!" My mother calls out to me. And with the sound of her voice in my ears I slam the door.

The seventy degrees of outside, hits me the second I step onto the porch. My bare feet burn underneath the concrete driveway. I reach the mailbox and turn around to see my Father running down the driveway to stand beside me.

"I'm sorry," he whispers. "I'm so sorry for yesterday."

"You are not,"

"Paige, I've made a lot of mistakes, but I want to rectify them, give me a chance to."

I'm so angry I loose control of my words and I sputter out, "Was Peyton one of those?"

He looks at me wild eyed and confused. "Who told you about Peyton, Paige?"

I look down on the ground at my bare feet. "I heard Aunt Haley and mom say something about her."

"No, she wasn't one of my mistakes. She's a friend of your mother's."

"Why haven't I ever heard of her?" I strike back.

"Paige, she's just a sore subject. Don't ask Mom about her okay, she'll get really upset."

"Fine," I whisper softly, a tad defeated.

I reach into our mailbox and grab the mail, handing the bundle back to my father.

"Can we go back inside now?" he asks holding his hand out to me.

I nod and place my hand in his, like I did when I was a little girl, and we travel up the driveway into our house.

-------

_**Later that Night**_

In this moment, I'm semi-happy. My family surrounds me, and Grandma Karen made it. I don't see her as much as I want, and now that she's here it seems like everything is falling into place.

"Cake, Paige?" Haley yells from the adjoining kitchen, diving out slices of her "vanilla-nilla" masterpiece.

"Sure, Hales."

"Paige, will you read to me?" I feel a tug on my shirt and look down to see my younger cousin, Sawyer. She smiles at me and pulls at her blonde pigtail.

"Soy, don't do that. C'mon…" I say patting my lap, inviting her on. "What do we have here?" She giggles in the way only a four year old could and scoots onto my lap.

"My favorite." Sawyer sniffs into her blanket, and rubs it up against her pale but rosy cheek. "Come back to Me," I say reading the cover. "By P. Sawyer,"

"That's my name," She giggles.

"Yep, Sawyer Quinn, that's your name."

I peel it back and look inside the on the dedication page, I've always been fascinated with the lives on authors, who spend their days crafting childhood dreams into well crafted words and pictures. If I only had that talent. _To: PKS, my goddaughter. I'll love you always, no matter what, no matter how much time goes by. And LES, it's not over. It never will be. -PES. _

"Hey Paigie," my grandmother says touching my leg. I look up and smile at her, she sits besides me. "You're so good with her." Grandma Karen reaches over and touches Sawyer's cheek.

"Thanks, I really love the sowing kit you got me."

"It's not everyday your granddaughter turns 14."

"My mom's been teaching me a lot, and I hope that I'll be able to make Sawyer a dress for her birthday."

"Can I go get cake?" Sawyer asks softly.

"Yeah, honey. Just go in the kitchen and get a piece from your mama." She hops off my lap and runs away her pink blanket dragging behind her.

"You will, you can do anything." I smile at my dad's mom, she's amazing. "You remember what I told you?" She asks.

"To always see the magic in the world."

Aunt Haley comes into the room, plopping down on the other side of the couch. She hands me a plate with cake on it and takes a bite of her own.

"I haven't seen Jamie or Dave too much tonight." My grandmother says.

"They've been outside with Lucas and Nathan playing basketball, what's new?" Haley chuckles.

I laugh and look over across the room, to see Sawyer sitting on my mom's lap eating birthday cake, they are both giggling.

It this small moment, watching as the littlest things unfold I truly see the magic in life, in the world, in the moment and I hold my breath until it's over, until it stops, until the change that's stood there, falls all the way through.

_**-TBC-**_

**A/N: Question is when was the book published? And how and why did Peyton stat writing children's books? Hmmm. Hope you like this chapter. If you were wondering Haley and Nathan have three kids. (I mentioned them this chapter)**

**James Lucas Scott (Jamie) he's 13. **

**(I felt it was important to have Haley's pregnancy in senior year still stand, so Jamie He's only a few months younger than Paige.) **

**Davis Keith Scott (Dave) he's 10 **

**and Sawyer Quinn Scott she's 4. **

**But that will be explained more later. Remember the rules 20 comments for next day update. **

**Have a good week. **

**This update is even later because well my internet got cut off and fanfiction is blocked at my school, but I will get it to you SOMEHOW if I get the reviews. I might even get one of my friends to post. **

**Good chance there will be a big time rewind next chapter and most likely a new point of view. :) **

**If your wondering what inspires me, it's THE FRAY! I love them and would like nothing more than to see them in concert for my birthday:)**

**Just thought I'd share. lol. **


	4. Four: Trying Not To Loose My Head

**Archways and Endings**

**A/N: It's so crazy how supportive you guys are. I LOVE YOU! (and I don't just say that to anyone) lol. If you were wondering I'd love birthday shout outs. So send them my way on the 14****th**** or earlier or a few days late. They are nice on any day, any shape or size. And I have some news for you guys! I'm about to be a sophomore, YAY! :) I'm so glad freshman year is practically over; I wish someone had told me how hard high school was going to be. lol. But now its summer and I've committed myself to finishing. ****So remember to press that little review button at the end****, because if you don't I'll be really sad. **

**For the case that everyone will get a little confused this is senior year, which means that everything that happened seasons 1-4 has been turned upside down and onto its head at least for BLP and a little bit for Naley. **

**Chapter dedicated to:bendecida82 Thanks for reading this, and giving 3 really compliantly reviews. (One for each chapter) Each one made me smile, a LOT. You are too sweet :) and in case anyone hasn't said anything in awhile I'm really looking forward to the sequel of Anything for Broody. (Just a friendly little nudge lol) **

**-Kelsey **

**---**

**Four: Trying Not To Loose My Head**

_October 22, 2001_

_Tree Hill, North Carolina_

_**Brooke**_

"_I'm pregnant_."The three syllables sound so wrong transferring from my head into my mouth and out into the open air. Good thing the only one around is Peyton or I'd probably die. I'm having Lucas Scott's baby and we are on the verge of a breakup. We fight constantly and it's come to the point that I know his heart is screaming _"out"_. I hold the test in my hands, it bears two blue lines, a positive, and my head is spinning, I feel like I've been riding the Mary-go-round for hours, and all I want to do is vomit.

"B," Peyton whispers. I have my back to her, we stand in her red bedroom, on opposite sides of the room, but it feels like an ocean, everything feels so far away.

"I'm pregnant," I repeat. "I'm pregnant, I'm pregnant, I'm pregnant."

"Oh," She whispers. We are both so lost for words in this moment.

"Maybe its wrong," she suggests but we both know it's not. After all the scares I've had, this I know for certain. The questions are coming out of both of our ears but nothing leaves our mouths. Peyton walks over to my side and hugs me tightly. The wave hits me and I began to sob.

"How are you going to tell him?" Peyton's head sits on my shoulder and I began to grip her tighter.

"I don't know, I really don't."

"We'll figure it out," She whispers.

"You promise."

"You bet B. Davis." And I hold on to her tighter, she's the piece holding me together, and I couldn't bare letting her go, or I'd shatter into a billion little pieces onto the bedroom floor.

---

Basketball- it's more than just flinging a ball into a hoop. In Tree Hill it's _everything. _All across the country there are college towns, football towns, and then basketball towns. Here it's the latter. It's all about winning and going to championships, then everyone likes to celebrate, Especially Lucas. We're in the backseat of Keith's old mustang and he's kissing all up and down up neck and my collarbone. I expect this and normally this wouldn't be a problem. But not today, any other day other than today.

"Lucas," I sigh pulling away from him.

"Pretty girl what's wrong?" His blue eyes lock mine and I feel trapped, this is the affect he has on me.

"I don't feel like it,"

"You don't feel like it, you _never _don't feel like it." He scoffs. I look away visibly hurt. That's not all I'm good for, for god's sake; I'm more than just a fuck buddy.

"Brooke," Lucas says cupping my face, making me look at him. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that."

"How did you mean it, Lucas?"

"I don't know," I guess it clicks that he's been being a jock asshole like everyone else I've ever dated. That's one of the reasons I like Lucas so much, love him so much, is because he's different, or at least he use to be.

I push his weight off of me and climb over the center console and into the passenger seat. "You can take me home now," I whisper on the verge of tears.

"Brooke, can we talk about this?" He throws his back onto the cushioning of the back seat, frustrated.

"Why Luke? Since you made it very clear that all I'm good for is a good fucking why don't you just take me home?"

"You know that's not true," he pleads. "You know I love you."

"Don't start with 'I'm the guy for you, Brooke Davis' shit. I cannot handle that right now." It's true. I cannot fathom how I'm suppose to handle this pregnancy, this baby. What the hell do I know about being a mother? The answer, absolutely nothing. And Lucas, I'm beginning to question everything with him too.

"Brooke," he exhales and folds his hands together, his fingers interlocking, like he's about to blow out with a prayer. "Please tell me what the hell your problem is? I'm sorry I said what I said, but god you are blowing this so out of proportions."

I shake my head, "Please just take me home." My voice cracks with every other word.

He climbs back over the console and into the driver's seat and looks over at me and smiles a sad smile. "Okay, whatever you want."

---

I texted Peyton when I was in the car, so by the time I get home, she's already there, waiting for me.

"P. Sawyer," I cry out as I enter my bedroom. Peyton sits on my bed doing something on her cell phone.

"Honey, what the hell happened?" She drops her cell phone on the bed and looks up at me.

I exhale and feel hot salty tears forming at the corners of my amber eyes. This is my senior year in high school, my thoughts should be focused on prom and crossing my fingers that I get into a really good college. I shouldn't be having a baby, this baby deserves _so _much more than what I could ever give it.

"We had a fight, Peyton. Like always, all we do is fight."

"I take it you didn't tell him," she asks quietly, like she's afraid of my answer.

"No,"

"Okay, listen to me," Peyton twists her hair into a ponytail and pats on the side of bed, motioning for me to sit beside her.

"Somehow," she dictates as I sit down. "it's going to work out, You Brooke Davis are going to have baby. A beautiful, beautiful baby." She smiles a half smile, and I notice her eyes are beginning to brim with tears.

"And you'll tell Lucas, and knowing Lucas he'll offer you the world, he'll ask you to marry him, isn't that what you want?" I reach over and hold her hand, I love Lucas of course I want to marry him, but not just because of the baby, I love him, I want to be a Scott.

I nod. "Then it might be hard, but you'll have a happily ever after or at least something close. You'll have a family Brooke. Everyone wants a family." I realize that she's been having a hard time since she just found out she was adopted, Anna didn't give birth to her, and her birth mother lived in Atlanta somewhere. Her heart was hurting and Jake and Jenny leaving didn't help.

"Peyton,"

"Yeah?" She asks sniffling.

"What do you want? What's your dream?" When we were little we both got it into our heads that we were going to be Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders, but I think that had to have been a little more of my dream then hers, she just went a long with it, because she's generous, loving, Peyton.

"What?" She asks surprised I'd asked.

"What's your dream?" She smiles though her tears.

"I don't know," she says trying to blow the subject away.

"Come on' P, tell me."

"I love to draw," I nod.

"So you want to be an artist?"

"No," She shakes her head. "Your going to think it's silly."

"Tell me!" I say shifting, the bed creaks with my movement.

"Well I want to open a publishing house/ record label. There will be an art gallery, live music and poetry readings. That place," she says closing her eyes, biting her lip. "That place is my dream,"

I grin. "That Peyton Elizabeth Sawyer sounds perfect."

"You think?"

"Tree Hill could use a place like that," I squeeze my best friend of over ten's year hand and smile.

"Thanks, B."

"No Peyton, I don't know what I'd do without you,"

"It's my job," She says and places a kiss on my cheek.

"P. God, you don't know how much you being here means,"

"You don't have to thank me, we're in this together."

I know for the first time in a long time that someone is going to be there for me, and all though I love Lucas, and I hope we're together forever, I know that If I loose him, Peyton will catch me, she'll save me, just like I've done for her. _We always save each other. _

_**-TBC-**_

**So what'cha think? I just want everyone to remember that this Brooke is ****very ****different than the older and wiser Brooke we've read in the past 3 chapters. And she hasn't gone through a lot of things that Brooke on the show has either. She's seventeen, pregnant, and her relationship with Lucas is less than perfect. I told you I was going to jump around a lot, so will see where this 'flashback' gets us story wise. You did see a lot of BP friendship fluff, and I think it's good to see that Peyton is there for Brooke, but when and where did it all go wrong for Peyton to be "a sore subject" in the lives of Brooke and Lucas? And where did she go? Did she die? That's for me to know and for you to find out. Remember to review :) **


	5. Five: Violins Make No Sound

**Archways and Endings**

**A/N: You guys rock my socks! What would I do without you? Who knows what? I do know that I've been incredibly sad because it's been confirmed that Chad and Hilarie have left. I know that some of you guys are Brucas and hate Peyton, but I LOVE Peyton, she and Luke just had a baby, what the hell does that mean for the show? I blame CMM because from what I understand he can be a big ass, and he like demanded more money or decided that he wanted to make more movies and go and bite the hand the feeds him. They gave Chad so much creative opportunity this season, he wrote and directed an episode. Hilarie or Sophia didn't get either opportunity, James and Joy got to direct. A lot of TV actors do that and I've never understood that, for Christ's sake, the Friends cast was making a million dollars for episode, and that's because the show was soooo popular and because they'd been on the air for ten years, Chad you aren't ****that**** famous, you're sexy as hell, but god your EGO! So basically Julian is staying as a permanent character (yay Brooke gets to be happy) and they are bringing three new characters on(Source is Wikipedia), one I hear is Haley's older sister Quinn, Clayton, Nathan's new agent, and some girl named Alexis as the new face of Clothes over Bros. I'm hearing their might be a time jump and Peyton and Sawyer may be a part of the show to some extent, Lucas will NOT. I've heard rumors that their will be a divorce, which doesn't make me happy either. Either way the time jump doesn't make much sense either considering that Jackson (Jamie) was one of the first people to sign a contract for Season 7 as well as Bethany Joy. Makes me wonder…. Will I watch? Yes, because I wonder what Mark would have dreamed up that makes Peyton and Sawyer around without Lucas, and with out crushing the world he took six years to create. And then I wonder what he's going to do in general, everyone ended Season six happy, but with a mystery wrapped around it, which was a cliff hanger all on it's own. Sorry for this crazy rambley note that probably makes no sense.**

**This is a few days late, because I've been super stressed, and this chapter didn't want to come. But I pushed it:) **

**-Kelsey**

**---**

**Five: Violins Make No Sound**

_June 12, 2016_

_Tree Hill, North Carolina_

_**Paige**_

I saw her with _him._ Then I began to wonder how she expects anything thing to get better, how she expects my father to change if she does _this. _ A part of me wants to hate her for ruining our family, but everything is so screwed up as it is, and it's not like _this_ hasn't happened before. Sometimes my life seems so fake to me until I remember how real it is. How right now this very second I'm breathing, my heart is beating, and I'm alive, even though I feel so low, even though I feel so dead. I was just going out with Emily to get coffee, and now I wished I'd never walked into the café at all, because I got to witness my mother in the company of another man, for the second time.

The first time, I was so little, I can barely remember. My father was out of town; he was coaching, and had himself semi-together. It seems that the moments when things are almost right, almost put together, my mother decides to add her own outrageous spin on a situation. She decides to cheat. No matter how hard I've tried to relate or understand to this fact, it never comes out just right, and in the end I put the blame on myself. Perhaps if I never born, perhaps if I would have put such a demand on my mother and father, they'd be happy, and they wouldn't stray. But that's not what happened and nothing is ever going to change that.

I remember being sent to bed early, early enough that the sun was just peaking over the horizon, slowing falling into a black abyss. I cried and complained, and begged my mother to let me stay up just a little later.

"Tomorrow, Paige." She whispered. "Tomorrow, I promise," and with that she kissed the crown of my head, turned off the light, and left the room. As I lay awake in my bed, I heard the front door of our apartment open. The walls were as thin as paper, sounds traveled so fast through every room, and that's' when I heard a man's voice, a man that was not my father.

"Hey Brooke," I sat up straight in bed. The voice wasn't familiar; it didn't remind me of anything. But even at four and a half, I had to know something was very wrong, because I tipped toed out of my snug Cinderella sheets, and stood in front of my bedroom door, crouched on the floor.

"Well hey there mister," She said, which I know understand to be a "flirty" voice.

You always know the sound of lips meeting, it doesn't matter where you are, if the place is crowded, or completely empty because the sound makes everything silent, until the finally smack, the tail end of it. That sound I had only ever heard, when my father came home from work, and kissed my mother. And I knew exactly what it was.

So when I heard my mother and this "person" do that, I didn't know what to do. What to think.

"Where's your daughter?" The voice asked.

"Asleep, I put her in bed about half hour ago."

"So there isn't a problem with me doing this," And the sound of them kissing filled my ears like static, loud, sharp, and confusing.

It was then; I climbed back into my bed, pressed my eyes closed, and went to bed. Never speaking a word about it, never wanting to know anything either. I knew that at four and a half, just like I know it now, I shouldn't have seen anything, I wasn't supposed to.

When I woke up early that morning, the man was tip-toeing out the door, I saw him. He smiled at me, and closed the door quickly behind him. And for the past almost ten years, I've put that incident out of my mind, until now.

It's funny how the past sneaks up on you, no warning; it's just in your face, begging to see the light of day again. Everyone is struggling, and fighting, and screaming, and then all of the sudden you're reminded of something, and it makes you so upset. It really hurts. This memory kills me, I hate remembering it.

My father had his affairs too, so if I judged my mom, well that'd probably be a little hypocritical. I've never judged my father, and I can't tell you why. It's all a little backwards, and my family's dysfunction continues on a daily basis. But it's how it is and it'll probably always be that way. I always expected so much more from my mom then my dad. She's been the one who's been there for me; she's the one who's supposed to be _perfect._

I sit in my bedroom, now. The iced-coffee I'd gotten from the café sits on my dresser, untouched. The sweat is melting into the woodwork, which I'll probably get yelled at for later. But I want something to be ruined. My heart feels that way. Why shouldn't this hundred year old dresser feel it too?

I know for a fact, she won't come home after me. She will not run into the house, badgering me to not say a word; she won't lie and make up some insane story to try to make me believe her and cover up her actions. No, she'll just come home at six like she does every night. And we'll both pretend that she wasn't in that coffee shop, and that I never saw her with the mystery brunette. We'll sit at dinner in silence. We won't talk about her, or my father's drinking, or all the bad things we try to run away from. We'll just pretend that everything is as it should be. And the silence will take over the sound.

_**-TBC-**_

**Short and of course not the best thing ever. Are you pissed at Brooke? Yeah I have a feeling you are going to be even more pissed at other characters pretty soon. Just try to remember, they're human, they fuck up. Comments please. **

**-Kelsey**


	6. Six: Happiness has a Violent Roar

**Archways and Endings**

**A/N: Thanks guys:) You know what I've realized? Summer is a time for change, and you should try your best to get out there and try to do things you wouldn't do. I for instance, this week dyed my hair. It's not purple or anything. But it's a shade darker, with a hint of red. :) I'm also trying my best to stay positive and ignore my own family life stress and not let it consume me. So here's to the summer of change and a new chapter as a cherry on top. **

**Warning: A few sexual references this chapter. Can't be considered smut, but there are a few references. I'm not a doctor nor have I EVER studied medicine, so some of my medical facts in this chapter might be incorrect. (Though I'm pretty positive that I'm correct, I do watch the discovery health channel A LOT, but you never know.) **

**And by the way ****IT WAS NOT NATHAN**** or anyone else that we know. (Paige even at four, would have recognized her uncle's voice) He has no face or name. Neither one of them did, they just both had brown hair. I AM NOT THAT CRUEL! (though that would add a pretty cool spin on the story huh?) just kidding. I can't promise that one of you guys suggested 'lovers' for Brooke won't come back in later chapters. And that's all I'm going to say about that. **

**Empty Eyes: You get what you wanted, Brooke's side. I understand exactly what you were saying in your review. (And I'm glad we might actually agree on something :D ) I had planned to do this anyway, but I'm glad you get your wish:) **

**And just so you know, Lucas affair(s) will be covered in later chapters ;) **

**-Kelsey**

**--**

**Six: Happiness has a Violent Roar **

_June 14, 2016_

_Tree Hill, North Carolina _

_**Brooke **_

I have tried my best to be happy. With Lucas, with Paige, with the life I was given. But it didn't matter how hard I tried to make things perfect, I soon found that just because you marry a man and have his baby, it doesn't necessarily mean he will always be there in the way a husband should, and love you the way a husband should. It doesn't mean that at all. It means that I sacrificed the life I could have had, and gave it to him instead, as well as our then infant daughter.

Babies need their mothers, but what they don't tell you is that they grow up and push and shove to show that they can do all of these things you try to do for them on their own. Paige is beautiful, and articulate, and stubborn, and she can do _**anything. **_I'm lucky to have her as a daughter. When she was just about three, she started riding that little plastic tricycle thing. Paige would put on her favorite white shorts and ask me to braid her perfect mane of curly brown hair. (The only thing she couldn't do, alone) And we'd go out into the complex's parking lot and I set Paige on the sidewalk. And she'd pedal as hard as humanly possible and giggle and call out, "Mommy look at me!" I'd smile and giggle right along with her, but even then I knew one day she wouldn't need me.

Most mother's say that day comes when you drop your child off at college, but I know now it comes when your daughter looks at you with disgust, because she's ashamed you are her mom, she's ashamed of _your_ actions. I have no one to blame but myself, meeting that co-worker in a public place, playing footsie with him under the table like a thirteen year old girl, holding his hand. There is nothing I can say to that fact or the fact I've slept with him about three times in the office. I do not love him, or even care for him, but at least when I'm with him I feel alive. I don't feel like the world is going to crumble around me. I don't look at his face and see the heartbreak of us losing three babies, I don't see him kissing someone else, especially _her,_ I don't see him hung-over begging me to forgive him, I just see a man who I have no history with, who is just trying to have a nice time. And I'm okay with that.

Lucas knows, just like I always do. He can smell cologne on me that isn't his, he can taste someone else in my mouth, he can feel the spots that we're long ago unclothed not by him. He never says anything on these nights, his mouth deepens our closeness, and he pulls me down on our bed to make love to me. If I was honest, the sex is always better when one of us is cheating. One of us is always trying to prove that there is still something left, in that space between us.

"Paige," I call out. My daughter sits at the island, feet away, headphones in her ears, and the sound pours through to the point where even I can hear the music she's listening to.

"Paige!"

"What?!" She yells as she's takes the buds out of her ears.

"Your music, it's too loud."

She rolls her eyes and pushes her bangs out of her face. "Okay,"

"Turn it down."

She laughs bitterly. "Don't you mean turn it up?" "I'm sure that's what you told _**him," **_

"Paige Karin," I sigh.

"Don't Paige Karin me," I want to laugh because she sounds so much like me. "I cannot believe you,"

I shake my head and feel tears come to my eyes. "It was nothing," I tell her.

"Do not lie to me mom, please." I hear the edge in her voice. She wants to cry too.

"I'm not,"

"Do you love him?"

"Of course not," I reply quickly.

"Then what's it worth," She chokes out tears spilling out of her brilliant blue eyes. "What's that worth if you don't even love him?" She then stomps out of the room and leaves me alone with that truth. What is it worth?

Honestly I don't know. I always get a certain way around this time of year, around that time when I lost Kaden Nathanial. I remember when I found out I was pregnant with him. I had never been so happy. Luke and I were settled into married life, or at least I thought we were. Paige was five, the perfect age for a baby brother. I imagined him, blonde with big brown eyes, playing basketball with his daddy. He seemed perfect in all the ultrasound photos, if only that were true.

I carried him inside of me for five and half months, Haley always commented on the glow I wore. Twenty-two with two children, the irony always made me smile. Lucas became someone I forgot he could be he became the man I fell in love with all of those years ago. He took care of me and Paige, he stopped drinking, and painted the nursery a beautiful robin blue but then it happened, _I lost him._

June 13 2006, I woke up feeling wet, like I peed myself, like my water broke. But that's not what it was; the sheets were soaked in _**blood**_. Lucas was in Charlotte, tying some loose ends of Karen's; about some property she'd wanted to sell. I felt the blood traveling down my thighs and I began to scream, this couldn't be happening. My son, my baby, this had to have been some crazy dream. So I got out of bed, struggling, the pain in my body was intense, I had never been in that much pain, ever and I grabbed the phone, calling 911, then Haley.

"_Hello?" she answered in a yawn. _

"_Hales," I said my voice was breaking, my flannel pants were saturated in blood, and I felt so weak. _

"_Brooke?" She asked alarmed. _

"_Something happened. I need you to come over and get Paige." My voice had started to drop off, my eye lids were dropping. ._

"_BROOKE! Oh my god, Brooke. You're scaring me. Are you okay?" _

"_Kaden…" I breathed, I was crying, and then the world went black. _

I'm told the ambulance came with in a few minutes after I talked to Haley. I lost about 80 percent of the blood in my body, I hemorrhaged like crazy. I was told I could have died, but he died. Isn't that important enough? I was told there was nothing we could have done to save him, that I didn't do anything wrong, that his umbilical cord just ruptured, no warning, no cause, it just kind of happened. I was his mother; my only job was to carry him inside of me for nine months, so he could grow, and come out as a beautiful, healthy, little boy. I couldn't even do that.

I can't do anything right, I'm a failure as a mother. I lost a little girl, two years later, and another baby in the first twelve weeks, three years after that. Their faces are ghosts in my mind; they never leave, and pop up when around other children. The little girl, we were going to name her Hannah Rae, I imagine her with dirty blonde hair, hazel-green eyes, I see her when I'm with Sawyer. I see Kaden in Davis and Jamie, he'd be around their age, playing basketball, driving all the little girls wild. The other baby has no face, but in when the quiet takes over my mind, I can hear it crying, I can hear it cooing, trying it's best to communicate with me, like newborns do, I can hear that baby being alive. Then there's Paige, who can't even stand to look at me and I really can't blame her. How could I?

"I'm happy," I whisper to myself in the empty kitchen I now stand in. The words bounce off the clean metal pans hanging on the rack above the stove and the walls that surround the room.

Who ever knew I'd tell myself such lies?

_**-TBC-**_

**Tell me you don't feel a little bad for Brooke. Can you imagine losing three babies? That's awful. Paige is pissed at her, her and Lucas's relationship is as WEIRD as ever. I mean really could you stay married to someone after all that, could you really live like that? God, I couldn't. I sympathize with Brooke so much. Please tell me what you think of this chapter. Hopefully it was a little insightful. Even though this takes place a few days after last chapter, I felt that it was more a flashback chapter, because of all the past in it. So, the ghosts of Lucas and Brooke are a LOT bigger than high school, huh? **

**PRESS THE REVIEW BUTTON! I know you have something to say:)**


	7. Seven: Two Ghosts in One Mirror

**Archways and Endings**

**A/N: Thank you. As if I could ever say thank you enough times. You all are too good to me and I love you so much for your support of this story. It means so much to me. **

**I'm so sorry I haven't been updating much lately. I suck. I've been stuck in a rut or something like it I guess. I think I've kind of got a little lost for a while but I'm fighting back and I'm fighting hard. I finally got the inspiration to write again.(Though it wasn't very strong but I fought through) Something I haven't felt like doing in forever. And this is what I love. This is what I enjoy. Anyway I'm going to try to be a much better updater. Thank you all for sticking with this story. I promise you won't be disappointed. The update system is still in place. 20 Reviews in one day, you get the new chapter the next day. If I get 17-19 reviews in one day, you get the new chapter two days after this one. If I get less than 17 I post the new chapter in a week (5-7 Days) And I promise to uphold the update system unless there is no way humanely possible I can update. **

**Chapter Dedicated to: Dolcegrazia- Who's been here since chapter one. Thanks sweetheart. You are amazing. **

**Charlotte: Thanks for not yelling. :) **

***Oh and If your not reading The Return of Brooke Davis you are an idiot. Charlotte is JUST AMAZING! And also writer of the very popular William Sawyer and Anything For Brody. So after you finish this chapter go check it Out!***

**EleniLeonora: Who told me I was the inspiration for her story "Maggie in Wonderland" You are a sweetheart and I thank you sincerely.**

***Readers also check this story out, she is a great writer and I think you might like it. * **

**On with the chapter:) **

**-Kelsey **

**--**

**Seven: Two Ghosts in One Mirror **

_October 31, 2001_

_Tree Hill, North Carolina _

_**Brooke**_

I feel everything. Every heartbeat, movement, breath. I feel it. And it hurts, god it hurts. Because there's this life that depends on me and I don't even know what to make of it. I'm just a kid having a kid. And that's the reality I've come to face.

I still haven't told Lucas. And I want to but it's hard. How do you tell the boy you love that he's going to be a father at eighteen and might have to give up all his dreams? How do I crush someone who gave me so much? The answer, I have no fucking idea. And everyday I struggle with it. All I want to do pack my bags and hide in California with my parents. I'd much rather tell Bitchtoria and Daddy Dearest than Lucas because I can handle their disappointment but Lucas. I have never been able to handle any ill feelings he has ever had for me and that will never change. He means everything to me.

I look into the mirror and see the girl I've always seen. But for some reason as I paint a R on my left cheek I notice my eyes for the first time in a long time. There are endless depths of sadness and the hue of earth depresses me. I hate the depression that plagues my body. I hate this day, this so called holiday. I hate how far away I've become away from the girl I use to be. I almost hate myself.

"Brooke?" I turn around, the chair of the vanity spinning to see Peyton standing in my doorway. She's smiling, her hair half-up, with a R painted on her right cheek

"Hey P," I turn back around and finish applying my make-up.

"What's wrong, Debbie Downer?" She says. And I see her reflection walking towards me, her smile fading and turning in to concern.

"I'm pregnant. Remember?"

She frowns and kneels down beside me so we are on the same level.

"Yes," She says stroking my back. "How could I forget?"

I feel emotion rise in my chest. "What are we going to do P .Sawyer?" Our eyes meet as I try to hold back the tears.

"I don't know," I exhale and turn back to look at myself in the mirror. Oh how the mighty fall.

"C'mon Brooke, you don't want to mess up your make-up."

I turn around and look at her my eyes burning with anger. "You don't get it! I'm having a BABY! A BABY for god's sakes!"

She stands up and looks at me. "What do you want me to say Brooke? Do you want me to be all, 'Brooke, let me take you to Planned Parenthood to get this taken care of.'"

"NO!" I scream.

"What then Brooke? Am I supposed to feel sorry for you?"

"Yeah," I spit out. "Your life's not fucking over!"

She shakes her head and looks at me, tears streaming down her face, mascara and face paint running. "Your life's not over Brooke Davis, it's just not going exactly as you planned. And you know what? Maybe that's a good thing. Maybe you'll learn that it's not all about you. Because it's not. You think this is so bad. You're getting everything you ever wanted, Brooke. You get Lucas, forever."

I cross my arms and began to cry.

"And your coward ass is to afraid to tell him that your even pregnant. I guess your going to be one of those teen mothers who give birth at prom."

I scoff. "I'm going to tell him,"

"When?" And I choke on the words I can't find.

Peyton wipes her eyes and exits. "I'll see you at school."

And then she's gone.

---

School. It should be illegal on a day like today. There's a basketball game tonight and a Halloween party I must attend after the game and then the fight with Peyton. I walk down the familiar hallways and I've never been so exhausted. My mind, my body, my soul is reeking with fatigue.

"Brooke!"

Haley, beautiful, beautiful Haley is who I see when I look behind me. She runs up and we walk side by side.

"Hey tutor girl."

I watched as her brown eyes look me over with concern. "Tigger, what wrong?"

"Nothing," I shrug. "Everything's perfect."

"You and Luke aren't fighting right?"

"Umm not really." She eyes me suspiciously.

"We had a big fight a while back, its fine now!"

"You sure?"

I grab her hand and squeeze it reassuringly. "Yeah tutor girl, I'm positive."

We reach my locker and she smiles at me. "I've got to get to my locker and run some stuff to Mrs. Langston. See you at Lunch?"

I nod and began to spin the dial of my locker. She turns and walks through the packed hallway. The sound of my peers has never felt so loud.

I open in my locker and began to gather my materials. Palms cover my eyes and inhale a familiar cloud of cologne. _Lucas. _

"What are you doing?" I breathe out.

"Trying to scare you," And he uncovers my eyes and spins me around to face him.

"Mmmhh. You're awful at it." He tips his head and leans in to kiss me. I press my lips to his and can't help but smile into our kiss.

"Happy Halloween, pretty girl."

"Thanks."

The tardy bell rings and he presses a quick kiss to my lips.

"Can't wait to see your costume," He says and kinks his brow at me and heads to class.

-----

The Ravens are victorious over the Ashville County Sparks. Like that's any surprise.

The party is pulsing with people and loud music. And everyone is in the mood to celebrate.

I'm stand in the corner with a red plastic cup in my hand filled with beer. _Classic_. I don't drink it, but I hold it anyway and every so often hold it up to my lips. Brooke Davis doesn't usually stand in the corner. But I'm not in a partying mood.

I see Peyton in the corner of my eye, laughing with a tall brunette and downing beers. She catches my eye walks over to me.

"Hey," She says as she gets closer.

"I'm sorry," I choke and feel like sobbing.

She grabs my hand and squeezes it tightly. "No, I'm sorry."

I grab her shoulders and pull her into a hug.

"You know you've got to tell him," She whispers into my hair.

I nod into her shoulder. "I know,"

We pull apart and I push my bangs out of my face.

"So, who were you talking too over there?"

She hiccups and then laughs. We are so emotional.

"His names Tyler,"

"He's Hot!"

"Brooke!" She whines.

"C'mon P. Sawyer. You need a man!"

"Nobody needs a man."

"Maybe," And I realize she's probably right.

"Where's Luke?"

I shrug. "Talking with the guys I guess."

"Well B. Davis you better go find him. Dance a little. Try to have a little bit of a good time until…"

"Until I get fat and my ankles swell."

She nods. "Yeah and also turn into a bitch."

We share a look.

"Wait, that already happened."

We laugh and she snatches the cup from my hand and downs the beer.

"Have fun with Tyler."

She kinks her eyebrows at me. "Oh I will."

---

I finally find Lucas after searching for what feels like forever. He's just drinking a beer and talking with Nathan and Haley.

"Hey Cheery!"

"Hey Broody, Tutor girl, Nate." I smile, one of the fakest smiles I've ever faked.

"I was looking for you, you want to dance?" He asks. The music continues to pulse loudly and my head began to pound. How do I normally handle this? I'm thinking it's the booze. And I think that I miss it.

I smile. "Yes boyfriend. I'd love too." And I he takes my hand and leads me to where everyone else is dancing.

We dance and our bodies are thrusting against each other. Lucas is getting horny, just the way he's touching me and his eyes are watching my body, I know. He wants to have sex.

His hands are roaming all over me and I feel like I want to be sick. He ends up leading me out of the party and in to his mustang. I really don't feel like fighting this fight.

We get into the car and I feel his finger tips on the waist of my jeans. "I wonder what you are wearing tonight." He whispers in my ear.

I want to scream, so I do. "STOP!"

He quickly takes his hands off of me and holds them up in the air.

"Brooke, what did I do? Are you okay?"

I shake my head and feel tears began to fall down my face.

"No, Luke. I'm not."

"Did I do something wrong?"

"No, you didn't do anything. Well not really…"

"Brooke," he says softly and wipes the tears from my cheeks.

I look into his eyes and see confusion and I know that is now or never.

"I love you so much." I tell him.

"I love you too."

"Luke,"

"Yes?" he says and pushes a stand of hair behind my ear.

"I'm pregnant."

_**-TBC-**_

**A/N: This is longer than all the chapters of this story so far. I figured I owed you. Luke was being a little piggish huh? I thought that the BP scene at the beginning of this chapter was so important but I'm glad they made up. This chapter turned out so differently than I originally thought. But this is how it came out and this is how it'll stay. If you can't tell Brooke is kind of depressed. I think that's partly my fault, because when you're writing in a 1****st**** person POV sometimes your own personal feelings jump out. But I really think Brooke would feel that way anyway. Did you think that Peyton was being honest or a bitch? Did you wish Lucas would just get over being all horny constantly? Why doesn't Haley know what's going on? I know you guys have opinions and questions. So come on, please share. :) **


	8. Eight: Hurricane Coming All Around Us

**Archways and Endings**

**A/N: I feel like I'm telling 3 stories at once and that they are all layering and I have to make sure they match up perfectly. I really should be writing things down. Yet I don't. (So hopefully I don't mess up. And hopefully by the end I make perfect sense.) Thanks for your sweetness guys. It means so much. **

**Ipodder: I'll never give you any information in a chapter unless it is somewhat important. I'd say follow those instincts. Also thanks for being the first to comment chapter seven. **

**Dolcegrazia: I hoped you enjoyed the chapter dedicated to you. I really think that teenage Lucas should put some ice on it. Lol. **

**Team Sophia: YAY. I'm so glad your back. I always love a BLers insight because I want to make sure I'm writing them correctly. So hopefully in your eyes I'm doing just that. **

**Lalez: Aww thanks Sabine. I do feel special and I love you for it. **

**Chapter Dedicated to: Cayt326 and SV. Y'all are the best:) **

**-Kelsey **

**---**

**Eight: Hurricane Coming All Around Us **

_June 3, 2017 _

_Charlotte, North Carolina_

_**Paige **_

We really shouldn't be driving in this weather. We really shouldn't be driving at all. It's raining so hard you can't see anything through the windshield. I'm sitting in the passenger seat of the car but I still am getting carsick with all the swerves and quick movements of the car.

"Mom!" I shout as the nausea rolls in my stomach in waves. I really feel like I'm going to loose the contents of my stomach.

"What?!" She says adjudicated and turns to look at me quickly before settling her eyes on what she can see of the road.

"Oh god! You're going to be sick. Aren't you?"

"I sure as hell feel like it."

"Don't say that." She says and merges over to the other lane.

"What.. hell? Hell, hell, hell, hell, he…."

"Paige Karin Scott enough!"

She reaches her hand under my feet and spits, "Grab the wheel."

I reach over quickly and she soon emerges with a bucket.

"If you're going to be sick, be sick in here." And she hands me the bucket and turns her attention back to the barely visible road.

I'm surprisingly okay with this. This whole leaving Tree Hill after everything. I don't know if mom and I are running away or if we are running scared. And the only reason I saw we is because I'm along for the ride, obviously.

"Paige, you alright?"

"Still feeling sick."

"You aren't pregnant are you?"

I laugh like it's the funniest thing I've heard in ages.

"Are you?"

"No Mom. You have to have sex to get pregnant. And I'm not having sex." I roll my eyes as I hear her exhale with relief.

It's raining so hard and all though we are so far from the coast I know these to be the remnants from hurricane Elizabeth that rocked the coast a few days ago. It wasn't that bad at home. And all though we had rain it didn't seem like this. I guess perhaps when you're snuggled up in your bed with The Fray hanging in the background nothing seems as violent as it does when you're in the car with your mother the day that her divorce from your father was finalized.

"I'm sorry about what happened in court today."

"I'm sorry too." I say sadly.

There's is small silence and all that is heard is the windshield wipers wiping and the rain pouring down.

"Are you happy mom?"

"Yes," And she looks over and catches my eye as a shoot her a doubtful look.

"No. No Paige I'm not happy."

"Then why'd you do it? Why'd you and Daddy get divorced?"

"Paige, I will love always love your dad. But…"

"But what?"

"You know how I told you we were going to take a little trip?"

"Yes. Stop trying to change the subject." I say getting a little annoyed.

"Paige," She breathed "I'm not trying to. The history between Dad and I is complicated."

"Okay," I push trying to urge her on.

"And I'm ready to really tell you about what I was really like when I was seventeen and I'm ready now to share that past with you. I'm ready to share all of it with you. I want to show you why it all went wrong."

"Like right now?"

"Not exactly," She says giggling. I huff and she places her hand on my thigh.

"First we are going to get some food in our systems before we die. And then we are going to stop somewhere to sleep before heading to our final destination."

"Where is that?"

"Nashville." She says biting down on her lip.

"And did you pick that place off the map or?"

"No there's a reason." And her words halt and she turns off on to an exit for food and lodging.

"So Nashville?"

I watch her profile as I repeat the city again. She seems to light, like a feather, and with one gust of wind she could just fall off the face of the earth.

"Nashville." She repeats.

_**-TBC-**_

**A/N: This chapter just wrote it self. And all though it was short it is a look into the future. But it happens before chapter one. What could that mean? What's happening? Oh I know that you are all rocked with confusion. And maybe that's the way I like it. Haha. Please do me a really nice favor and review. [And yourself considering you get the next chapter faster, duh! ;)]**


	9. Nine: Oh, So You’re Sorry Now?

**Archways and Endings**

**A/N: Welcome back to the present (sort of). I feel like I've had you guys taking some crazy trips in the ****DeLorean****. Back and forth and here and there. (The DeLorean is the car from Back to the Future in case you didn't know[and if you don't know the movie, then sorry I can't help you.]) Anyway there is always a point to everything. I promise. And there is so much story to be told. So much! The Peyton mystery is yet to be solved and what happens to Brooke and Lucas is also up in the air. Who knows?! Well I do but you don't. Not yet anyway. I'm just going to let you know that Paige will probably be telling the next few chapters. So I guess you guys can look forward to that. (I LOVE that girl, don't you?) **

**Sabine: Glad your all caught up girly. Enjoy the chapter:) **

**Stagediva23: Personally I love Brooke and Julian (on the show) and I think Julian is a sweet guy. But I don't know, he could be in the story. Maybe. **

**Charlotte: Character wise everyone will end up in love and happy. (Or at least the grown ups, not sure about the kiddies) Now who's in love with who, that I will not share. But we'll get there someday. Return of Brooke Davis is thriving, mind sending some of your readers my way? Haha. :) **

**ReeseHolden: You're so right. The possibilities are endless. I did say earlier (When you guys where throwing out Brooke's potential lovers in Chapter Five's Reviews) that I can't say these certain people might not come in to play later and become "love interests". And Chris Keller and Jake may be in Nashville. Or they might not be. Just got to wait and see. And I will definitely take the Haley/Paige thing into the story. I really wanted to build some more on the Brooke/Paige relationship. I love the support Haley gives Paige too. I would have considered if I haven't planned it already, I dedicated this story to you, silly. Your opinion matters to me a lot. So next chapter you'll get some Haley/Paige scenes. **

**GPLR: You'll have to wait a while to find out why Nashville. Sorry:) **

**StepyLuvsBL4EVA: Welcome back:) It's totally cool, I'm just glad your back. So if there are issues with BL you automatically assume Peyton had something to do with it? Hmm interesting. Can I ask you a question? How anti-Peyton are you? All I'm going to say that BL have a lot of problems with their marriage. A whole lot, they have a lot of problems with communication as well as their affairs and Lucas's drinking. You'll have to wait to learn more about the divorce. **

**Stupid-cookie-cutter-popstar: You think that Paige is Peyton's? Really. Hmm. Interesting. Thanks for the alert and Welcome Aboard. **

**Ivy: I know your vote :) Thank you so much for your review on "I Just Want to Love You" I'm so happy to be your favorite LPer. And also thanks for calling me a good writer. I try, hard. I'm happy you're back into OTH. I was watching a marathon on Soap Net and I was noticed how much the show has evolved over time. Old School Tree Hill was awesome to me too. Yeah I'm bitter (as and LPer, especially) that Chad and Hilarie are gone. The show's going to be different, but I'll watch. Brooke needs us! Haha. And you're also still marinating over Sawyer, huh? We'll have a lot of Naley family action Chapter Nine. Also in Chapter Ten but not as much as in nine. :) **

**Empty-eyes: Last chapter did take place before chapter one. Paige would be 15 because her birthday is in May 19th. Last chapter took place on June 3rd. If you remember from the summary, Paige finds out her parents marriage is over a few weeks before her 15th birthday. Sorry if not everything was clear. **

**In case everyone didn't notice. The story was changed from Brooke & Lucas to Brooke & Peyton. Why did I do that? Because I want to throw everyone who reads this story or sees it off. I want it to all be mysterious from the summary to the chapters themselves. **

**Please check out my brand spanking new one-shot "I Just Want to Love You" I personally feel it's pretty awesome.**

**(.net/s/5305725/1/)**

**Chapter Dedicated to: othlvr16- YOU ARE AMAZING:) Thanks so much for your support. **

**So without further a do, chapter nine. **

**-Kelsey**

**---**

**Nine: Oh, So You're Sorry Now? **

_July 1, 2016_

_Tree Hill, North Carolina _

_**Paige **_

Everything is changing. I can feel it in my bones. When things go wrong for so long it feels funny when things finally seem to be fitting together. It's almost like I'm waiting around for something to go wrong. It's like I've been so close to everything I've ever wanted only to have snatched away. And it stings. It burns at the base of heart like nothing I've ever experienced.

School ended with a snap. Before I knew it, really. And ever since time has seemed to rush by. It seems like just yesterday it was my birthday and all hell broke loose and now it's almost Fourth of July. And a whole other hell is about to break loose because my mother decided that this year she wants to host the annual Scott cook out that usually takes place at Aunt Haley and Uncle Nathan's.

"Should I buy Beef or Chicken Hotdogs?" My mother says holding up the two packages of mystery meat. She seems so out of place and we both know she has no idea what she's doing.

"Beef." I giggle. Chicken hotdogs always make me want to vomit anyway. Beef ones are way better.

"Get the kosher ones." I say as she places a package in our shopping cart.

"Why we aren't Jewish? Do we have Jewish friends I all of the sudden didn't know about. "

"No," I say taking them out of the cart and putting them back on the refrigerated shelf. "These are higher quality." I grab two packages of the hotdogs and place them into the cart.

"Two?" She asks.

"Yes, Mom. There are going to be quite a few kids there. Kids like hotdogs."

She nods and starts pushing the cart down another aisle.

It's a shame that I as a fourteen year old know more about hotdogs then my full grown mother but I've always been really particular about my food anyway.

She stops abruptly and she eyes the items in the cart and then turns around and looks at me. "I think I've got everything." She says and tucks a piece of hair behind her ear.

I look over the items and smile at her slyly. "No, mom. You didn't get half the things on the list."

"What list?"

I look at her with a huge grin on my face. "You didn't make a list?"

"No, I just…I just thought we'd grab the things we need."

I laugh loudly. "Oh god mom! You didn't ask Haley for her usual list or perhaps her special recipes?"

"I didn't think we'd need it!"

I roll my eyes and take her by the elbow to lead her down another aisle of items we need to make lunch. "Oh c'mon mother!"

----

_**Two Hours Later: **_

"Paige, can you hand me those cans?"

We are both bent over on the kitchen floor, unloading what feels like food of thousands of people.

"Here Ma," I say and hand her the plastic bag full of can vegetables.

She places them on the counter top and begins to line them up in the cupboard.

"Where's Daddy?" I began to put all of the meat into the freezer.

"He's at AA."

There's a silence. I don't know what to say, she doesn't know what to say. I didn't think he'd go, really. I thought it was his bargaining chip. I thought he was lying.

"You know they have meetings… for us." She adds softly, like she's afraid to speak the words out loud. She's afraid of what I might think of her for even suggesting them. The cupboard closes and she leans up against the counter, to face me.

"What do you mean? We don't have..." I exhale. These words I'm about say never come out of my mouth, they are just suppose to say hidden away, forgotten, so we can pretend they aren't even there. "Have a drinking problem," I say quietly.

"I know." She shakes her head causing her ponytail to sway. I close the freezer and look into her eyes. How did we get here?

"There's something called Alteen for you. It's a support group for teens with parents that have addictions. They meet Wednesdays."

"Oh,"

"You don't have to decide now. Just promise you'll think about it."

"I promise." But maybe I don't want to talk about it. Everything has always been kept quiet. What's with this change of heart now?

My mother returns back to unloading groceries and I'm just standing there trying to think.

"I'm going to go to my room,"

"Okay baby doll."

And I leave her and the millions of groceries in the kitchen.

---

There's a knock on my door.

I'm sitting on my bed, music lingering in the background, laptop on my lap.

"Open,"

The door swings open to reveal my father in the doorway. He smiles a half smile at me and looks around the room, enthralling himself in my surroundings. I catch his eyes quickly to observe a clarity in my father's eyes I haven't seen in years.

"What's up?" I ask casually, closing my computer.

He shakes his head and smiles. "I just…"

"What?" It seems like that for a moment, just for a tiny single moment, my father and I were in two different worlds, he was lost in some past place and I was here waiting for his return. I've been waiting for him my whole life.

"I just, you here, it just reminded me of someone I use to know."

I smile. "So, how was it?"

"Alright sweet pea. It feels good."

"Yeah?"

He submerges himself deeper into my bedroom and sits down on the edge of my bed.

"Yes. Like this giant weight is off of me. Being without that stuff, makes me feel better."

"I'm glad." He grins and ruffles my hair.

"How was shopping?"

"Awful!" I say laughing.

"Why?"

"Mom didn't make a list. We we're just wondering around the store for awhile."

"That's Brooke Davis for ya. Other than that did you and your Mom have fun?"

I nod. "Yeah. Even if it was just grocery shopping. I'd much rather buy clothes."

He laughs. "And I was beginning to think you were nothing like your mother."

"Ha-ha. Yeah right,"

He looks around the room and I feel like he's taking it all in, almost like he's never been here before.

"Well I'm going to go take a shower. Get washed up for dinner, 'kay?"

"Alright Dad," He gets up and begins to walk out the room. I open up my laptop and go back to what I was doing before he came in.

Once in the doorway he turns around.

"I'm really sorry Paige. I'm sorry for so much." He turns on his heels and closes the door. A few moments later I can hear his feet clomping up the stairs toward his bedroom to shower.

The only sound that now fills my ears is low music. The words are inaudible; it's just the sound of notes and chords being thrown together.

And for the first time in a long time I believe my father's apology is sincere.

_**-TBC-**_

**A/N: This chapter wasn't reeking with importance but it is a small piece of the puzzle. Lucas's behavior in the final scene however is very important. Who agrees with Paige about the hotdogs? I do! I cannot eat anything but Beef ones. There is a difference and it matters to picky people like me. Anyway I hope you guys liked it. I pride myself on the closer. Comments are sweet. I'll be posting one of many in progress one-shots soon. Hopefully Friday:) **

**Next Chapter you guys can look forward to some Haley/Paige scenes. **

**As well as the NH's Kids and NH themselves. **


	10. Ten: You Can’t Make it Come or Go

**Archways and Endings **

**A/N: Well aren't you guys sweethearts?! You all should know how much I adore you now before you start reading, because I do! I got my school stuff in the mail Thursday and I was shocked by where my time had gone. Now it's almost time to go back to being in High School, isn't that fun? haha. But I still promise Wednesday updates. Sometime in the evening EST. I'm not busy that night ever and won't once school starts. This is a little bit late but I just couldn't get it right in time. Then my wireless adaptor starting acting funny again. Sorry guys:) **

**Ivy: I realized that in my last "note" to you I messed up. I said you'd get Naley family in last chapter, which there wasn't any. I meant this chapter (Ten) and some more next chapter. I thought it mostly be this chapter but I decided to spilt this day in two different chapters so it's about even in this chapter and next chapter. **

**Charlotte: Do you have any idea how much I want to make that promise to you?! I do so badly. But I can't. There's this ethical bone in my body saying I can't spoil the ending, for anybody. Even if I got all your readers to come over and give me 300 reviews, I just can't spoil it. It might take a long time to get there, but when I do. It'll just feel amazing. So I understand if you can't give me a shout out, but I'm sure glad you can play with me;) haha. **

**Sabine: No, sadly I don't have as many readers as Charlotte. But I do have amazing ones! I'm actually trying to even out the ratio between BLers and LPers. Even the playing field out a bit. I'm ashamed but I'm also just a little review whore. But I'm okay with that. :D **

**EleniLeonora: It is very Brooke to not bring a shopping list. I can see it. And yes the line about Jewish people, I laughed when it popped in my head. So I'm glad you thought it was funny. Haven't seen a new chapter of "Maggie in Wonderland" in a bit. How's it going? **

**Reese Holden: I have seen the picture and I've been waiting from the CW to update the website for months because they had the picture of all 5 of them up for so long. It's down now and very sad for me. My question, why isn't Brooke wearing a shirt? I mean really?! It's just a blazer. I don't even think she's wearing a bra! And is it just me or does Sophia and Bethany's hair look exactly the same as it did in last years promo pics?! I don't know. It's weird to me. You get Haley/Paige scenes this chapter! YAY! And then they're also going to be some more Naley and family next chapter!**

**Stagediva23: I'll see what I can do. Can you wait a little bit?! I might have to think of when and where I can place those flashbacks for Brooke. For the next few chapters we are going to focus on Paige. **

**Cayt- We will find out soon, you've just got to wait. Build-up baby, build up! **

**Stephanie- I can't believe you can't tell! Well I'm sorry my chapters are too short for you taste. I'll try harder. **

**Kelly- Thank you so much! You are a big sweetheart! I'm so glad you're in love with my stories! I think I'm in love with you! haha. :) **

**Stupid-cookie-cutter-popstar: Thanks for the love! It means a ton! :) **

**Charlotte (you not a registered user and I only know you by your first name): Thanks for reading! You so nice to review! Is it okay if I call you Charlotte # 2 since I also have another Charlotte reading? Let me know. **

**You know what you guys want to do? Check out my brand new one-shot if you haven't already. It's called "Hold Me, Wrap Me Up" (.net/s/5319767/1/) It's dark LP and very sad. And if you have the excuse of not liking LP, I don't care. Go read it!!! I know you love me, and it's dark! And plus Brooke administers sedatives to Peyton!!! See you want to read it!? So after reading this chapter and placing you wonderful review, copy and paste the URL in the window and read it. Pretty please. By the way you guys can start excepting regular one-shots from me at the end of each week. **

**Happy Ten Chapter Anniversary Archways! You made it to double digits!!! And also hit 100+ reviews! I'm so proud and thank each and every one of you bunches. Without you guys none of this could have happened. I'm so looking forward to another 10 chapters and another 100+ reviews. Thank you! **

**-Kelsey **

**----**

**Ten: You Can't Make it Come or Go **

_July 2, 2016_

_Tree Hill, North Carolina _

_**Paige **_

Sometimes you wake up and it's quiet. Beyond quiet, it's silent. Whispers seem loud, creaks of the floorboards make your skin jump, the A.C turning on reminds you of a lion's roar. Some people hate this quiet. Some people find their solitude in these small but rare moments.

This is what I'm greeted with when I enter my Aunt and Uncle's house. Which is strange because the house is usually bustling with noise and action, it's early everyone must still be asleep. And as I stand in the foyer, I listen in to the silence.

I wonder what plagues little Sawyer's dreams. I wonder if Dave and Jamie dream of basketball, like my father once told me consumed his dreams as a child, of winning that one big game, of making that one winning shot. I wonder if Uncle Nate's arm is draped around Aunt Haley's waist as they dream of the future they're sure to have. I wonder these things as I stand in the foyer, just listening.

"Paige?"

I turn around at the sound of the voice, coming down the stairs is my Uncle Nathan.

"Hey Uncle Nate. Good morning,"

"You're here early." He says with a yawn.

"Sorry. You want me to go back home?"

He laughs and meets me at the bottom of the stairs. "Sure. You want me to go on a coffee run with me?"

I look him over. He's got on flannel pajama pants and a loose white t-shirt on.

"You're going out like that Nate?"

"It's just Starbucks. I've got a wife. No one to impress,"

I shrug. "Okay,"

He slips some shoes on and I follow my Uncle out the front door.

----

The car is relatively quiet. The radio is on at a low volume, set at some top 40s station, and my uncle has his sleepy eyes focused on the road.

"How's Brooke doing with the party plans?"

I laugh. "Okay, she has no idea what she's doing but besides that,"

"I bet. Your mom knows how to party but never really plan that was always Pey…" And he stops himself.

"Never mind,"

I shrug and try to catch his eye. But he's driving so lean back into my seat.

"Guess what?" I ask him trying to change the subject quickly, changing it from whatever he feels so afraid to say.

"What?"

"I got some information from the High School in the mail."

"Really?" he asked intrigued and makes a left hand turn on Burton Street.

"Yeah, because of all my test results I got into the Honors Program."

"Paige! That's awesome girl!"

"Thanks Uncle Nate,"

"Your Aunt Haley is going to be so proud of you!" He says grinning and turns into the Starbuck's parking lot.

"I hope so!"

"She will. I'm proud of you too," I grin and he places the car in park, taking the keys out of the ignition.

----

As we walk into the coffee shop the strong aroma of coffee wakes me up instantly. I can close my eyes and taste it.

I order a "fancy girl drink" as Uncle Nate affectionately calls it and he orders Haley an iced late and himself a hot black coffee. How he drinks that tar I will never know.

We talk about summer and the Slam Ball tournament that's happened last night on ESPN. The one my father begged me to watch with him. The one I watched and winced every time a player was slammed into the wall. We wait for the coffees to be made and once our order is called we pick them up and walk out the door. It's pretty hot out and as we step into the car, I realize how ten minutes with out AC really feels.

My Uncle and I sit in the car waiting for his car's AC to kick in, sipping coffee. I try my best to slurp up the thick frapachino, the condensation from the cup running down my wrist. Nathan starts laughing at me.

"Gosh Paige! Can you get that up or what?"

I slurp my Java Chip a few more times before finally getting the beverage down my throat. "I've got it!" We both grin and began to drive towards his home.

----

We arrive back to the Naley house and it's still quiet.

"Why's everyone so tired?"

He chuckles and kicks his shoes off at the door. "We were up all night playing Rock band. It got a little uh competitive."

I arch my eye brows at him. "Really?"

"Yeah even Sawyer got in on the action,"

I thought about Jamie on the drums, Davis on bass, Nathan on guitar, Haley singing. Why couldn't I have a family like that? We never did anything together.

"How?" I thought chuckling.

"She helped her Mama sing."

"Aww!"

I followed Uncle Nathan up the stairs and into his and my Aunt Haley's bedroom.

Haley was fast asleep and sprawled out in the kings sized bed. Her hair was also a mess and tangled up all over the pillowcase.

I jumped on top of her and bounced up and down on the mattress. "Wake up Aunt Haley," I sang. "Wake up! WAKE UP!"

"Five more minutes." She mumbled into the pillow.

"No! Get up now!"

"I don't wanna," When it came to Haley and sleep she was just like a child.

"I've got coffee," I sang out annoyingly.

"WHERE?!"

"You've got to get up if you want some!"

I was tempting her so bad. Aunt Haley had a really serious coffee addiction; she couldn't survive without her morning Starbucks or her mid day caffeine intake. That had started when the other teachers at school had starting bringing back Starbucks at lunch. I knew what she was now like without coffee and it wasn't pretty. She was no where near the nice, pretty, smart, put together Haley I knew. She was a mess.

"Nathan tell our niece if she doesn't bring me my coffee I won't love her anymore!"

"Hey!" Uncle Nate yelled holding his hands up with his cup of coffee clearly in hand. "I'm so not getting involved in this!"

I knew she could smell the coffee and it was driving her insane. "Please Paige!"

"Let's compromise! You've got to sit up!"

"Fine," She pouts and stuggles to sit up.

She finally sits all the way up and I hand her the latte, she smiles. "Yum," And she sucks it down like a crazy person.

"Better?" I ask now sitting beside her.

"Much. Thanks!"

I began to laugh hysterically. I've always thought my parent's were crazy.

Uncle Nathan has long since excused himself, going in to kitchen to make my cousins breakfast.

"So Paige? What's going on?"

"I got into honors…for school."

"Oh my gosh! That's awesome!" She squeals. She's definitely had some coffee.

"Yeah, I just hope I'm good enough for it."

"Oh honey," Haley says reaching over and patting my thigh. "You are. You're going to do so well. What did Lucas say when you told him?"

"I haven't."

"Why?"

"Things have been so crazy with the cook out and everything. Did you know he went to AA?"

My aunt smiles a small smile and looks at me. "Yeah I did. How do you think he's doing?"

"I don't know. He seems better."

"Does he really?"

"Maybe. Mom suggested I go to meetings too."

"Do you want to?"

"I'm not sure. No matter what I do it's always going to be there. I'm going to have to live with my parent's problems. You know?" I ask and we lock eyes.

"Yes Paige I do."

I lean my head into her shoulder and wonder what it'd be like if Haley was my mother, if Nathan was my father, if my parents were normal and loved each other in a way that wasn't so volatile.

No matter what happens I'm always going to have to live with what has happened around me. I couldn't make it come or go even if I tried.

_**-TBC-**_

**A/N: Hope you liked this chapter. It was quite long and as of right now the longest so far. I know I promised Naley family too. You'll get that next chapter. I decided to split the day into two different chapters. Please try to take a look at the one-shot. Now let me ask you this. What's your favorite Starbucks drink? And do you know anyone who's crazy for caffeine like Haley? Or are you that crazy without caffeine? Share with me! You know I love it:) **

**And if you're wondering. **

**I like the Java Chip Frap! YUM. **

**But I also loved mochas! Iced! Me and chocolate with coffee= match made in heaven. **

**Which means if I go to… **

**McDonalds: Iced Mocha **

**Dairy Queen: Mocha Moolatte! It's chocolate, ice cream, and coffee, all mixed together! You've got to try it! It'll change your life. **

**7-11: Iced Mocha from the machine. It's still yummy:) **

**So if you can't tell I have a severe caffeine addiction. It I'm not drinking coffee I'm drinking Dr. Pepper or sweet tea. And there's a tons of sugar in that tea let me tell you. **

**:) I think I want to go change my pen-name to something to do with coffee! I'm so silly I know! **

**Leave me your thoughts please! **


	11. Eleven: All You Ever Knew of Home

**Archways and Endings**

**A/N: I so sorry this chapter is late! This is my last week before school starts so things have been mega-hectic. Let's all cross our fingers and hope this doesn't happen again. And just because I was late, I'm promising you this, along with my new P/Ju one-shot that's being posted tomorrow or Saturday, I'm also going to post chapter twelve. How I'll get that done. Who knows? But I will. Somehow. **

**Ivy: Hey that's okay! Don't worry about it. I think I mostly called him Dave anyway. :)**

**Charlotte: I can't believe you gave me a shot-out! Thank you so much:) You know your support means the world to me. No one speaks about Peyton, and Paige has no idea who she is or really the history/past. So whatever happened in the past, everyone is keeping really tight lipped about. But you know nothing ever really stays a secret in the hill. And this secret has been hidden gosh 14/15 years. Oh it's going to come out, and when it does I promise it'll be with a BANG! I'm going to miss you when you go on your little hiatus but I get it. The real world always comes back knocking. :(**

**Eleni- What's up with us always posting at the same time? Lol. For some reason Nathan/Paige in my mind just seemed to flow. I didn't really mean to focus on them so much. It just kind of happened. **

**Stagediva: Hey now! Don't make yourself Diet Tea. I think you should just drink the real stuff. Haha. I'm so enjoying developing Paige, because she's mine. So I can do whatever I want with her without restrictions or certain complexes that must be stuck to. So she's a lot of fun to write. **

**Stupid-cookie-cutter-popstar: Ahh that will come soon enough! After twelve, we are having a flashback chapter back to the high school days. :) **

**Cayt- Patience grasshopper! Great things come to those who wait. (Please do, it'll happen!) **

**ReeseHolden-You're on the money there! Yes, every little slip up about Peyton or things that seem like Peyton are so valuable and important. I'm so glad that someone caught on to that. :) I do think that sometimes if you're caught in such dysfunction day in and day out it's probably really refreshing to head to your Aunt and Uncle's where things are a little more "normal". This chapter is full of Naley family. So it's kind of like an introduction into the whole family. They've only been mentioned in passing thus far. So I'm glad everyone gets to "meet" them. And HEY I'm from the south too! Or kinda. I live in Virginia, born and raised. Though I live on the coast, and we are kind of military central. So I don't know if you could even consider me southern. (Though my ancestry is routed in the south, my grandfather was born in Wilmington, and somewhere down the line, I'm linked to Stonewall Jackson) Haha. And about the promo pic. I refreshed a whole bunch of times and googled it but still no picture. If you find a link, please PM it to me. It was bothering the mess out of me that I couldn't find it. **

**Sabine: Thanks for the coffee hun! I'll all pepped up and ready to go:) And btw I did make it a little cryptic about Paige's arrival but that'll be a tad more explained this chapter. **

**Othlvr16: YES! Got to be one of my favorite lines ever! I can't remember where I heard it. I think it's kind of a paraphrased version of something I heard on Gilmore Girls. I don't know if you ever watched it or not. But Lorelai says to Luke one day, If you don't give me coffee I won't love you anymore, or something like that or maybe it was Rory. I can't remember. **

**Jeeze I talk to you guys too much! Just kidding, I love it. Also loved hearing about y'alls caffeine issues! You all are amazing. By the way, I thinking of changing my penname, so head over to my profile and cast your vote. If by any chance you don't like any of my choices, send me a PM please. I'd love to hear your suggestions. I'm thinking new school year, new me, different pen name. I sign everything as Kelsey anyway. It's not like no one knows my first name. haha**

**-Kelsey **

**---**

**Eleven: All You Ever Knew of Home **

_July 2, 2016 _

_Tree Hill, North Carolina _

_**Paige **_

Blueberry waffles are my favorite. And somehow each morning I'm invited over here they somehow make it on the list of breakfast specials. Everyone one is sitting at the square espresso finished table, waiting to be served. Haley is pouring juice and Nathan is placing food on serving dishes. Davis and Jamie bang their forks together, like in a sword fight and Sawyer spins around in her chair talking incisively.

"James Lucas Scott," Haley calls out as she makes her way to the table putting the pitcher of OJ down in front of her.

"What mom! It was Dave too."

"Jamie you should know better. You're almost 14 years old!"

"Dad!" My blonde cousin whines.

Haley sits down in between Sawyer and me and smiles weakly. This happens a lot.

"Not another word son." Nathan bellows, placing down serving platters of waffles, eggs, and sausage.

Davis sticks his tongue out at his older brother and I find myself busting out laughing. "Davis Keith Scott!" Haley warns.

"Sorry Mom, it'll never happen again." I laugh; he's the spitting image of Haley only with his father's darker hair and the trade mark Nathan Scott smug grin, the one he uses often. We all know this will happen again, it's per usual.

The platters began to move down the table and I nod and smile politely when Uncle Nathan passes something to me. I watch as each as the boys' hungrily and savagely place food on their plates across from me, Aunt Haley scoops small servings for Sawyer, and Uncle Nathan serves himself hardy portions. I love family meals, but I've never had one like this at home. Which is a little funny if you ask me?

"Hey Daddy!" Sawyer yells across the table to Nathan who sits at the head of the table.

"Yes princess?"

"Are we gonna play at da river count today?" She smiles, her hazel eyes gleaming.

"River court honey," Haley whispers softly.

"Daddy knows what I mean," Sawyer chuckles. "Right Daddy?"

"Yes baby girl I do." He looks up at Haley who I catch rolling her eyes. "You have to ask Paige over here. She's our guest of honor today."

"Oh please," I mutter.

"Can we Paige? Pleaseeee!"

"Hmm." I say licking my lips. "If Jamie and Davie want too."

"Pleaseee!" Sawyer pleads.

Jamie turns to Davis, catching on to the game. "I'd love to Saw, but only if Dave wants too."

"Daviee pleaseee! I'll line up all you shoes in da closet."

"I don't know." Davis says shaking his head, his brown eyes shining mischievously. "You should ask Mama. I'd hate to say yes, if she has some big plans for us."

Aunt Haley chokes on the eggs she placed in her mouth moments before.

"You alright Hales?" My uncle asks.

Haley clears her throat with a few coughs and wipes her mouth with her white linen napkin. "When did this become my decision again?"

"Pleasee Mama!" Sawyer says searching Haley's brown eyes.

"Oh alright. But only because I love you baby girl!"

"YAY!" Sawyer smiles. "I lofe cheering."

"Honey I think she's been hanging out with her Aunt Brooke too much." My Uncle adds, clearing addressing my aunt.

I take a bite of my waffle and laugh.

----

It's one of those days where it's not too humid and there's a breeze coming off the river, so it's not that bad. I'd say it's pretty beautiful to be July.

Jamie and Davis are goofing off on the court, jumping around, mocking their father about his days in the NBA. He's been retired for a few years now, Uncle Nathan say his family's most important. Aunt Haley and I sit on the bleachers, while Sawyer sits on the corner of the blacktop, doodling with chalk.

Aunt Haley looks at me for a moment and smiles a sad smile.

"There's something wrong with you,"

"What?" I ask, brushing my bangs out of face, it's pointless the wind is much too wild.

"You have your dad's eyes, they don't hide a thing."

I look down at my shoes and look up at her again.

"Why couldn't I have this?"

"Have what?"

"This. A real family, parents who loved each other, like really loved each other, bothers and sisters, a dad who was normal and cared about me more than he cared about his next drink."

"Paige," Haley frowns and looks over to Sawyer and back to me.

"I'm just so tired Aunt Haley. I've never been this tired."

She runs her hands through my hair and tucks it behind my ear. "Oh sweetheart. I'm sorry."

"Why are you sorry?"

"Because maybe I don't know. What here what you see in front of you, honey it took a lot of years of work."

"Why didn't my parents work this hard?" I ask. I wonder what it'd be like if Kaden or Hannah was here. I've always wondered what it'd be like if Dad didn't drink. I wonder what I could have done to make these things my reality.

"They tired," Haley said sadly. "They're just…They just aren't the same as your Uncle Nathan and me."

"They don't love each other."

Haley laughs. "Paige Karin they do. In their own way the do. How do you think you got here?"

"A broken condom,"

"Paige!" She scolds. "I can't believe you said that!"

"Sorry," I blush and readjust my ponytail.

"You are much too mature for you age."

"Maybe," I say though it's probably true. When stuff happens to you, you pick up on your own, and deal with it. You aren't just a teenager. You're so much more than that. This I know, so instead of growing up, I'll probably have to grow down.

"Paige-a-lot!" Sawyer calls out to me. She's sitting cross legged on the pavement, trying to keep her chalk from blowing away.

"Yes Soy beanie!"

"Can you draws with me? My chalk is flying away!" She yells her voice fighting the rough breeze.

Haley smiles and nudges me on.

"Okay,"

----

Jamie and Dave score another shot on their father, which seems to both excite him and piss him off.

"Haha Dad! We're so kicking your butt!" Jamie taunts.

"This isn't fair. You guys totally double teamed me!"

"Since there are two of us that would sound about right." Dave quips.

"Nice one son," Nathan says grabbing his son's shoulder.

"What about me?" Jamie asks.

"Oh son! You just like your Uncle Lucas. 'Kicking my butt' huh?" "And that hair?" He said Jamie's locks.

Nathan was right. Jamie looked just like my dad. Blonde, blue-eyed, people could mistake him as my father's son.

"Nate!" Haley called out from the bleachers. "Don't tease him about his blondness!"

"His middle name is Lucas for a reason," And on my dad walks on to the old river court.

"What are you saying Big Brother?" Nathan questions and shoots my dad a smile.

"Oh I don't know." My dad says shrugging his shoulders.

"What about Sawyer?" Jamie adds, he hate's being teased about his 'origins'.

"She's dirty blonde!" I laugh out loud, like it matters.

Sawyer finishes shading the cloud she was drawing and grins at me.

"Do you like it Paige?"

"Oh Soy Bean! I love it!"

And she goes back to her doodle, oblivious to the conversation of her father and uncle.

"Hey Paige!" My dad's yells out to me with a wave.

"Hey Dad!"

"So, do you wanna play two on two Uncle Luke?" Davis asks.

"Sure, if you don't mind getting your butts kicked!"

Davis and Nathan smile to each other.

"See!" Nathan yells.

Haley stands up on the bleachers and puts her hands on her hips.

"Nathan Royal Scott! You better stop teasing our son!"

My uncle looks down sheepishly and smiles.

"Two on two?" He asks.

And the game is begun.

The breeze continues to blow my hair around into a knotted crazy mess. And I can't help but still imagine growing up in a home like my cousins have.

_**-TBC-**_

**A/N: I will update tomorrow or Saturday no matter what so be on the look out for twelve. It's cook out time guys! Haha. Please try to go and vote on pen-names. Please. Let me know what you thought of the chapter. **

**xo. **


	12. Twelve: Careful Child

**Archways and Endings**

**A/N: Surprise! I came back from where I was hiding! I wasn't hiding really. I seriously hadn't touched my computer in months. I ended up not being in creative writing class (which blows!) But I joined Polaris (which is my school literaty magazine) and my English teacher is the creative writing teacher, so she told me to submit some of my short stories. (so I'm going to try to come up with some "orginial" work) Forgive me for being a big jerk to guys and making promises I can't keep. I'm so sorry. **

**Special Shot out this chapter for: LPfan4forever. By know I'm sure she's so busy on new and exciting stories. But "Going Back" entertained me like nothing else. I really like her storylines. Maybe you guys might too. **

**Othlvr16: I've got to lighten up the mood somehow. And I think it's really become a part of Paige's nature to lighten things up and also shocking Haley sounds like a lot of fun. **

**Sabine: Yes, that was a typo. It should have been "tried." I was up late writing that chapter and was starting to get sleepy. There was quite a few typos and I'm sorry about that. Good Question about Sawyer's name. I'm planning on having that question addressed to Haley in one of these chapters coming up. So be on the look out. **

**Stephanie: It's okay. I'll take your reviews any time I can get them. :) I'm glad you liked Naley last chapter. Now be prepared for the whole gang together. BL and Paige+ Naley and all their kids=Craziness :) **

**Dolcegrazia: Glad to hear it. Enjoy:) **

**Cayt: Thanks, when we get there you won't be disappointed. **

**ReeseHolden: I whole heartily agree with everything you said in your review. (I couldn't have said it better myself) The sword fight, I've seen my little brother and cousin participate in this when they were younger. Davis and Jamie are a little older but still I think boy's that age are a little immature. (This is the complete opposite of Paige) Shocking Haley, I'd love to go to Tree Hill and do it myself. The interesting thing to me is that in the pilot Haley's a lot different then she is the rest of season one. She says Hell a lot and rambles, but then they turn her into this shy girl, and I don't know, I really liked Haley from the pilot. Anyway, yes Paige and Lucas put on a good show. It's sad. And BTW: I finally saw the UGLY picture with the forest background at fanpop. It wasn't cute. I like the ones they have up now, way better. Do you? **

**Stupid-cookie-cutter-popstar: Well you've only got to wait one more chapter. YAY! :D **

**Okay guys, enjoy the chapter And I'm so sorry that it took this long. Guilt has overtaken my body. **

**-Kelsey **

**----**

**Twelve: Careful Child**

_July 4, 2016_

_Tree Hill, North Carolina_

_**Paige **_

Insanity. That's the perfect word for what's happening now. Plates are being shuffled around, Sawyer and Dave are chasing each other around in the yard. Dad, Jamie, and Uncle Nathan partake in a basketball game. And I sit at the picnic table, headphones in ears, watching this all take place. I don't feel any connection to this at all. I feel very far away. And I can't put my finger on weather or not that's a good or bad thing.

I feel a nudge on my shoulder blades and look up to see Jamie. I take my headphones out of my ears and smile at my cousin.

"What's up?"

He scoots in next to me at the picnic table and I feel the sweat on his body.

"Nothing. You look sad Paige."

"I'm not."

"You sure about that?"

"I'd know if I was or wasn't Jamie."

"I don't believe you. You're hurting Pay."

I feel tears coming to my eyes and try to stop them by smiling. "I am. But I'm going to be okay."

He places his hand my shoulder. "I know you are. You know why?"

"Why?"

"Because you're going to come play a round with us."

"Do I have to?" I ask.

"Yep." He stands up and drags me away from the picnic table to our makeshift basketball court.

"Look who I found?" He calls out as he drags me to our driveway.

"Well, well, well if it isn't Paige Karin Scott, once this courts champion." My father says grinning at me.

"Returning for one and only one match." I add, crossing my arms over my chest. I'm going to kill Jamie.

Uncle Nathan tosses me the basketball and smiles. "Let's do Jamie and me versus Paige and Luke."

My dad smiles at me and stands beside me on our half of the court.

The ball is tossed up and my dad and I win the toss-up.

We continue to play until Mom and Aunt Haley call us in for dinner.

We all squish into a picnic table built for four and laugh, chocking down hotdogs and hamburgers. Maybe I was wrong, maybe there's nothing wrong with us.

Maybe we are fine just the way we are.

------

It's late and Sawyer and I are twirling sparklers around. I spell out my name into the night; it disappears in the flutter of an eye. Sawyer draws squiggles and laughs out loud when they disappear. Dad and Uncle Nathan tip back beers and watch as their wives paint each other's finger nails and sip on wine coolers. Jamie and Davis play bat-mitten and equally suck at it.

"Paige!"

"Yes mom!" I call out setting my burnt down sparkler in the grass.

"C'mere for a second."

Sawyer links her fingers in mine and we run up the yard towards the back porch.

"What's up Mom?"

"Do you mind getting that catalog off the dresser? I want to show it to Haley."

"Sure."

"Hey Momma?" Sawyer asks her mom.

"Whatcha doing?"

"Nothing baby girl, just painting my nails."

"Oooohhh. That's pretty Momma." Sawyer smiles.

"Hey," My mom suggests. "Why don't you let your Aunt Brooke paint yours?"

"Is it okay?" She asks looking at her mom to my mom and then back at me.

"Sure," And she jumps on to Aunt Haley's lap, letting my mom get started on her nails.

I go inside and make my way upstairs to my parent's bedroom. I find the mail piled up on mom's dresser. I quickly go though it and find the catalog. Just as I'm about to run out an envelope falls on the floor. I pick it up and look at it carefully.

It's addressed to my mother, with a return address of someone by the name of Peyton Sawyer.

_**-TBC-**_

**I almost forgot to tell you guys what I think of Season Seven. I flipping miss LP. The storylines Mark's got going on need some pulling together, they just aren't satisfying me, you know? It's not that I don't like the new characters or anything but it just needs a little work or maybe a little more getting use to. I don't know. **

**Sorry this chapter sucked so bad. I know I'm awful. **


	13. Thirteen:This is Going to Bring Me Close

**Archways and Endings**

**A/N: How I've missed you all! I'm still a sucky updater and school isn't the best. But this is my attempt at trying to get some really good writing in and get you guys a much needed update. I've been forever inspired lately, thanks to a stupid boy who gave me a broken heart. So thank him if you like this chapter. **

**Right now where I live (costal Virginia) we are having a nor'easter. It's raining non-stop. And tonight it's going to get worse. Lucky for me, there wasn't any school. So I finished this chapter up and got to work on some other pieces. Pray that my house doesn't get swept away with all this rain. Haha. ;) **

**Maggie: You are an angel! Thanks for the nudge:) **

**In case you guys forgot, the last flashback took place on Chapter Seven. It was Halloween night (October 31, 2001) and Brooke told Lucas she was pregnant. You might want to re-read the chapter just to refresh your memory. **

**Also the time stamp on this chapter is November 1st. It takes place in the wee hours of the morning. **

**-Kelsey **

**------**

**Thirteen: This is Going to Bring Me Close to You**

_November 1, 2001 _

_Tree Hill, North Carolina _

_**Lucas**_

I never knew that you could change your dreams so fast. I always thought that the only thing I'd ever want was basketball, and Brooke. I really didn't want to change my dream. But sometimes change is thrust upon you. Sometimes change is good. Sometimes you have to change. Dreams do change. Sometimes you have to do things you really don't want to do. Especially if it's no longer about you. It's all about _change._

I peer over to the other side of my bed to find Brooke sleeping restlessly beside me. Her hair is sprawled out, her face flushed, crusted eye make up running down her face, breathing unsteady. _I love this girl. _ I haven't always loved her, but I love her now. I do. As she breathes in and out, I see a life that is now mine to own.

Me and Her.

"Lucas," She whispers, stirring beside me.

"Hey Pretty Girl," I soothe. "Go back to bed."

She shakes her head, her messy sleepy locks flip around on the pillow, and attempts to sit up.

I pull her arm up and she sits up propping her head up against the headboard.

"I'm sorry," She tells me finally.

"I won't become _him_, Brooke."

"I know you won't." She exhales softly. "I know."

"How long have you known?" I ask her.

"A week in a half," She bites out. "I mean I took the test then."

"You haven't been to the doctor yet?"

"No, I wanted to…. I wanted to wait until I finally got the nerve to tell you."

I run my hand though my hair and shake my head. "So, it could be like _before_."

Before as when she thought she was pregnant but wasn't. When the at home test bared those same two blue lines.

"It's not. I can feel it."

"Feel it?" I ask.

"Lucas," She breathes. She looks up to the ceiling and then turns her face back at me.

"This baby is you and me. I feel it. I know it."

"Damn it Brooke!"

"Don't get fucking mad at me! I didn't get myself pregnant. I told you, I told you that night I didn't have protection but you just couldn't fucking help yourself."

"So now it's my fault? You told me you just had your period, so we'd be fine!"

"I know," She says fighting back tears. "I'm seventeen years old Lucas! Did you think I wanted this now? Did you think I wanted this at all?"

"What do you want to do Brooke? If what you really want is to go…."

"STOP IT! No, god no, that's not what I want Lucas. I love this baby. I've never loved anything this much in my life."

"Then I'll support you," And I mean it. I will not be Dan, I will not be.

I plant a soft kiss on her lips and hold her close to me. "I love you so much,"

"I love you too," She leans into me.

I know what I have to do now. It's the right thing. I'll be a father to my child.

"Marry me,"

"What?" She asks and looks up to me bewildered.

"I love you. I was going to wait until after graduation anyway. Marry me."

"Really, it's not just because…" Her eyes lock and I hold her glance with mine.

"Brooke Penelope Davis will you marry me?"

"Yes," And our lips lock passionately

------

She's finally fallen asleep. I get out of bed and search for my clothes that lay in a messy pile on the floor.

Once I'm finished dressing, I look at her. Really, really look at her. She's Brooke Davis and I love her. But I never thought I'd be one of those people to repeat history that I'd get somebody pregnant and have to make all those hard life changing decisions. I just wanted basketball and to be happy. Is this baby apart of my happiness? Is this apart of my master plan?

The fact of the matter is I made that little life with Brooke. That group of cells that mixed together to form a baby, probably an inch or two long. But I'm still seventeen and this isn't the right time for this. Maybe there will never be a perfect time for Brooke and me. But it's here whether I like it or not.

I dig into my back pocket for my cell phone and dial a familiar phone number.

"Hello?" The sleeping voice answers at the third ring.

"Hey, it's me."

"Luke? Hey…" She says her voice chalk full of sleep.

"Do you think you could meet me? At the river court. I really need to talk to you,"

"Lucas, It's freaking…3:15 in the morning. What… She told you didn't she?"

I exhale. "I can't do this, I can't, I can't."

"Can't do what? Be a father? You don't have a choice Luke."

"Marry her." I choke out. This is going to hurt her. This is going to break her.

"Oh, god Lucas. It's going to be okay."

"Will you please meet me? Please?" I ask.

"Yeah, give me like ten minutes. I'm putting on some clothes now."

"Thank you."

"Anytime, I'll see you soon."

I hear her voice dropping. What have I done?

"Peyton?"

"Yeah Luke?"

"I'm sorry."

"I know you are." She says after a few moments of silence.

And with that, she hangs up the phone. I gather myself, jam my phone in my pocket, and walk out the door.

_**-TBC-**_

**A/N: I'd say the story is finally starting to come together. What did you guys think? Let me know. **


	14. Fourteen: Things We Don't Want to Speak

**Archways and Endings**

**A/N: Hope everyone's having the best holiday! This is my Christmas and New Years gift to all of you. Can you believe Y2K was a decade ago? I remember that even though I was only six at the time. Haha, supposedly we were all going to die. I find it really funny now! Anywho I made out like a bandit this Christmas! I got sooo much money! Haha. I love being a kid it's freaking fantastic!**

**Let me know how ya did. Also I'm going to be trying to update a heck of a lot more. The reason I was away was I've been trying to bring up my World History II grade (My teacher is a Nazi) and My Spanish II grade (I'm not very good in Spanish) and I've finally started improving. So hopefully I can get back to business and continue writing. **

**Special Note: A just realized that the time stamp on Chapter 12 was messed up. I put the wrong year, it's suppose to be 2016 which I tried to change. I don't know if it worked or not. :) **

**P.S: I'm super proud of myself! A literary reference that I somehow remembered and looked up! It's now my opener! I see why authors love research/references. **

**Sabine: This Chapter is all for you! Enjoy it and I really hope you like the explanation. **

**-Kelsey**

**-----**

**Fourteen: Things We Don't Want To Speak**

_August 13, 2016 _

_Tree Hill, North Carolina _

_**Paige**_

What's in a name? William Shakespeare wrote, "That which we call a rose, by any other name would smell as sweet." Maybe your name is who you are. It graces on the tips of tongues with a different meaning, different dialects. Paige; a young servant. I don't think I'm a servant, but maybe I'm a servant of the heart. I think with mine, follow it all costs, and breathe with it. My heart guiding each inhale and exhale. Karin; for my Grandma Karen. Scott; a name with baggage, basketball, and early fatherhood attached. What does a name mean? And I don't mean the direct translation, "Young servant". What does it mean to Dad or Mom or even Aunt Haley and Uncle Nathan? Did they think I looked like a Paige? Or was it picked because they loved the way it sounded with Scott? You may be wondering why I care so much about my name these days. And I've just been thinking about them a lot lately. My baby brother, Kaden Nathaniel; For Uncle Keith and Uncle Nathan. My baby sister Hannah Rae; Aunt Haley and one of mom's friend's from college Rachel. James Lucas; Haley's last name, my dad. Davis Keith; my mom and Uncle Keith. Sawyer Quinn; well I don't know anyone named Sawyer, Quinn Aunt Haley's sister. But I remember the letter, the one that fell of mom's dresser that seemed to have a life of it's own. The one that I put back on the dresser, the one that Mom and Dad later argued about in hushed tones weeks later.

"_This Letter….." My dad trailed off_

"_Is too little too late," My mother quipped. _

"_Don't you want to fix it Brooke?" _

"_I think the better question is do you want me to Lucas?" Mom said._

_I could feel the anger rise up the walls; the grief welled up into the ceiling, spreading though the house like a wild fire. _

"_Because I think you still have this __**thing **__and you know what, fuck you!" _

"_Brooke, keep your voice down! Paige is asleep." _

"_Well, why not tell her Luke?" _

"_I," My father said strongly, it seemed to shake me to the core. The way he stated it.. "Never wanted this to be a secret. You kept her from Paige. Not me." _

"_I know __**that**__." My mother said bitter, her voice full of acid. "But I'm sure you never wanted to really tell her Lucas. To tell her __**what you've done**__." _

It got quiet after that, the small the creaks and groans take over the house, my mother goes to bed, my father goes downstairs to nurse his wounds with a beer, and to go to sleep on the couch.

There was a name on the letter. One besides my mothers. It was _**Peyton Sawyer.**_ Who ever she is, where ever she is, she seems to be tearing though the fault lines of already shaky ground. She also has the same initials as the writer, the one who's books Sawyer and Aunt Haley love. Sawyer's name is Sawyer. And my name is Paige, is it just a coincidence that Paige and Peyton both start with the letter P?

------

I go to the school that morning to meet Aunt Haley. She stills go into her classroom sometimes during the summer. I bring her starbucks and decide today's the day I probe. Today's the day I try to fix whatever the hell mess is made. My heart wants me too. It's begging me too.

"Hey Paige," She smiles up from behind her desk and then notices the coffee. "Is that for me?"

I smile, "Yep!"

"What do you want kid?"

"Nothing…."

She laughs. "I know you, you know coffee's the key. Smart, you got that from me."

"Aunt Haley, we don't share any genes."

"Good you paid attention in Genetics."

I hand her the coffee and pop into a desk in the front row.

"So how are Brooke and Lucas?"

"The same as always. Tense, un-tense, in love, angry."

"Ahh I see." "Well if you want, you can sleep over, Sawyer would love it."

"I'd love to spend time with Soy Bean. In fact you and Uncle Nathan should go out. Relax."

"That'd be great. And payment? Cake, Money, Ice-cream, shopping spree?"

"How bout you buy me lunch?"

She smiles. "Well I am getting kind of hungry."

"In fact that's perfect, I love spending time with my favorite niece."

"Aunt Haley I'm your only niece."

"C'mon Paige! You couldn't just roll with it."

We both laugh, she gathers up her stuff, and we leave together.

-----

We've been going to the Dixie Grill for as long as I can remember. Maybe even longer. I'm not sure. I'm not sure why when we go out to eat, we always end up here. There have been talks about trying the new Mexican Restaurant or going to the old Chinese place. But somehow everyone decides against and we eat at the Dixie Grill. I always had this master plan that I'd decide to have my birthday party as a dinner party out and try going somewhere else, but somehow I've never convinced my mother that 'Dinner Out' was the perfect party.

And it's not like the foods bad. In fact it's pretty good. But I don't have really anything to compare it to besides McDonalds. Tree Hill is not really the center on culinary or anything.

I stir around my milkshake and peruse the familiar menu. Oh what to get this time.

"What are you feeling like Hales?"

"Hmmm maybe a salad."

"A salad?" I ask.

"What's wrong with a salad?"

"Nothing,"

She puts down her menu and looks at me. "What about you?"

"A burger."

"A burger?" She asks.

I laugh and so does she.

The waitress coves over and asks, "What can I get for you two?"

Haley motions for me. "I'll have the cheeseburger boat, with Swiss, no mayo."

"And you Ma'am?"

"I'm thinking… I'll also have a cheeseburger boat, with cheddar."

The waitress scribbles down our order and smiles as she takes our menus. "You've got it." And she leaves the table.

I stir my milkshake around Haley sips her water.

"Can I…Can I ask you something?"

She nods and looks at me serious as day. "Ask me anything."

"Did you name Sawyer after the writer. The one who's books you read to her."

Haley swallows deeply. "Why do you say that?"

"Because of Peyton."

Her jaw drops, she eyes me unsure.

"Oh honey,"

"Who is she?"

"An old friend," She says, fighting the urge to say too much. I can tell the look in her eyes says it all.

"Is that who you named Sawyer after?"

Haley nods. "Yes, she was a really good friend."

"Oh,"

Haley takes a gulp of water and shakes her head.

"I'm not the right person to…."

"Is she the same one who wrote the books?"

Haley smiles.

"Yes. Yes she is."

I realize that she's said things she wasn't suppose to say things she didn't exactly want to say. The word float in between us, solid yet detested. Then I remember the inscription in the book, the one I read to Sawyer on her birthday. : _To: PKS, my goddaughter. I'll love you always, no matter what, no matter how much time goes by. And LES, it's not over. It never will be. -PES. _ Lucas Eugene Scott: It's not over, It never will be. _**Holy freaking crap.**_

**-TBC-**

**So what did you think? Let me know please! **

**And again **

**Happy Holidays and Happy New Year:) **


	15. Fifteen: Calling the Sins We Sing

**Archways and Endings**

**A/N: Sorry updating is a little off it's wack. My great-grandmother passed away (January 16, 2010) and I've also been getting in trouble for really no reason. Tense time. School has been kicking my ass! What's new? Sophomore year is no easier then freshman year. Who was I kidding? (it's not like I'm a bad student, I'm just not focused enough I guess) But anyway I owe you an update. So things to look forward to. I'm really really happy to have made it to the 15 Chapter Point! Thank you all for your continued support of me and my writing.**

**A PEYTON chapter! Finally! :) Takes place right after 13.**

**I've got a new one-shot for you! Please take a look: .net/s/5790288/1/**

**  
Now please don't tell me, I'm swinging in circles after reading this! I don't think you will. But just in case. I can't handle it! **

**---**

**Fifteen: Calling the Sins We Sing**

_November 1, 2001_

_Tree Hill, North Carolina_

_**Peyton**_

It's too cold to be outside, waiting. Waiting for Lucas. Waiting on the river court for my best friend's boyfriend, her unborn child's father. You'd think that after last year, I'd learn to stop waiting around for Lucas. That somehow I'd get it though my mind that Brooke's feelings and what she wanted was far more important than the screaming of my own heart. When you love someone you sacrifice. Don't you?

My arms are crossed over my chest. A leather jacket thrown over my bare arms, a wife beater and pajama bottoms cover my body. Even when Lucas and Brooke starting dating seriously, I still use to try to dress up for him. I'd spend ten extra minutes on my hair and makeup and try to make him notice. I've learned throughout the year that he doesn't care.

He once told me I was beautiful no matter what. And I've clung that those words like you would a life preserver while being trapped in a stormy sea. Hence the pajama bottoms.

"Hey," He says quietly coming up behind me.

"Hello there, _Dad_." He looks at me with the strangest look on his face. Like I've slapped him. Like he can't believe the word himself.

"Please," he begs. "I just…" he exhales deeply. "I just really need a friend."

"You need a friend? So does Brooke." I say firm. "I can't be both."

He shakes his head. "You aren't. And you and I both know that."

My eyes pierce into those perfect depths of blue. Mistakes and secrets between us.

"You can't do that! That's not fair!" I argue.

"Well as you can see, Peyton, life's not really that fair." He coughs and looks at me seriously.

"You too?! You can't be blaming me too!" I wine. And although I hate how childish I sound, I know for a fact, all of this that both he and Brooke dump on me is not fair. Not at all.

"Damnit! Jesus Fucking Christ! I'm not blaming you. I just didn't want this! I wanted…" And he trails off. And we both know why.

"You asked her to marry you." I say quietly. "Just like I knew you would." And I remember the words I used to comfort Brooke. The words I wanted so badly not to be true.

"I love her." He says. "She's having my child." And then I know. I know like I've always known. Things never work out how you want them.

"I know you do. I know you love her." And I feel tears come to my eyes. I feel like the biggest idiot.

"But you know how I feel about you!" He pleads. "I just wanted…damnit I just wanted more time."

"The clocks ticking." I say.

"How can you say that Peyton?" He asks me. I tuck a stand of hair behind my ear and lean on the picnic table behind me for support.

"Because I know you," I say. "I know that I love you. I know that I've always loved you. And I know that because of it, I've got to let you go. She's my best friend."

"Peyton," He breathes.

"Don't say anything. It's a baby, Luke. Your baby."

"I never wanted for any of this to happen." He says slowly, reeling.

"Of course you didn't. Just like I'm sure you didn't mean to ask Brooke to marry you." And my bitterness comes out. Even though I've tried so hard to not show it.

"If you were pregnant, would you want me to marry you?" I stare him and finally take a seat on top of the table.

"I'd hope it'd be a whole different ball game. I'd hope you marry me because that's what supposed to happen! That it be what you _really _wanted!"

He looks away. "I would. I really would. But I can't now."

I take his hand into mine and plant a kiss on his palm. "I know."

----

I never planned on going back to Lucas. I decided that I would put Brooke's feelings ahead of my own. I decided that I didn't need him. And I tried. I tried so hard.

But he was Lucas. And when he smiled, I got butterflies. He always had the right words to say when everything was going to hell. He was like a magnet. I could feel him everywhere. I could taste him in my mouth, see him behind my breakfast cereal and posted on street signs, I hear his voice whispering in every song I listened to, I could smell him from miles away. I knew him like an old familiar map or like the tracks on some of my favorite albums. I knew every back road. I knew every word by heart. I knew him better than I knew me.

It was the end of the summer and Brooke had been visiting her parents in California for the week. Lucas and I were drunk. Beyond wasted, we were completely intoxicated. I can't remember exactly why. But one minute we're just hanging out and the next the liquor's out and it's a party.

We were at his house. Stumbling around, laughing. It was the middle of the afternoon. Karen was at the café.

We had been talking about a college guy who had tried to pick me up earlier in the week.

"I guess since Jake left, I just don't see the point." I admitted. I'm an honest drunk. Too honest.

"I don't get how a girl as beautiful as you sit at home alone all the time." He says earnestly.

"I am NOT alone. I've got Brooke, Haley, Nathan, and….you."

"Peyt, you'll always have me." And our eyes lock. And I feel it all over again. That magneticness toward Lucas.

"Is that so?" I ask. My stomach in knots.

We are so close to each other. Just a few inches. "Always,"

"Look at you," He says. "So beautiful yet so hurt. I hate to see you this way."

I nod up and down. And I can feel the alcohol woozing around in my body.

He reaches out and tucks a piece of hair that fell in front of my eyes behind my ear.

"So, so, so beautiful." He says again. And my heart aches. The inches seem to close in.

And it didn't seem like one of us leaned in first or created this huge mess all by ourselves. It just seemed to me like we both leaned in at the exact same moment. Pressing our lips together. Sealing the deal.

It was electric. Not just alcohol. My whole body buzzed with longing, with want, with love. And our kissed seemed to deepen all on its own. And we some how wound up in his room. Lying on the bed, peeling clothes off each other's bodies.

And it just happened.

It's not something I set out for. He was Brooke's boy. He was on the god damned door.

But I didn't think about Brooke or the stupid ass list or anything else. I just thought about how perfect this would be in some other world.

And we came together. Bound, tied, and knotted. Like we should have always been.

It wasn't until later. When we both lay in his bed, the alcohol warring off, both of us realizing what we'd done.

"I've always loved you, Peyton Sawyer." He said softly.

"I've always loved you, Lucas Scott." I say tears burning the corners of my eyes.

And I have. Even if I've been too dumb to admit it.

----

It's four am and we stare at each other tired. We haven't said a word in over an hour.

"I'm sorry." He says finally. "I'm sorry for everything."

I smile and sad smile and squeeze his hand. "I'm sorry too."

"What are you sorry for?" he asks.

"For falling so madly in love with you. For making this so much harder on you."

"Oh, Peyt."

"You are going to be a terrific father." I tell him. And I believe it. I know it.

"Thank you," he whispers.

"Anytime," And I place a kiss on his cheek.

"You need to get back home before Brooke wakes up."

"Okay," He says. He squeezes my hand one final time and lets me go.

He turns around quickly. And rushes back over to me.

Our lips meet. And he tastes of regret, and sadness, and of goodbye.

"Good night, Peyton." He says finally leaving me.

"Bye Luke," I whisper. And I watch him leave.

And I wonder if he knows how it feels to be ripped apart. To know that the person you love is gone.

I really wish this was goodbye. But I know Lucas. And I know this is the beginning. The beginning of something that is broken falling apart all over again.

_**-TBC-**_

**Ahhh! So glad to have finally written that chapter. Now a mystery has been solved. What exactly was Peyton's relationship to Lucas like at the beginning of Brooke's pregnancy? I know all you BLers are so pissed! And LP fans are freaking out! Well go ahead. Tell me how much you loved or hated this chapter. It's appreciated! **

**-Kelsey **


	16. Sixteen: A Canyon In Between

**Archways and Endings**

**AN: This chapter was written well in advance of me getting any reader response. Sorry Guys! I just know that I am/ or will be super busy! **

**Also my step mom found out the sex of her baby, a little girl, to be named Avery. (I'm pretty sure I didn't tell you guys about it, but now you know) She's due in July and I'm super excited. A little practice baby for me to take care of. Or at least that's what I call her. **

**But there have been a few complications, so I'm just asking that you keep my step mom and especially little Avery in your prayers please. It would be greatly appreciated! **

**As for upcoming chapters: After this we are going to have a "current" Lucas chapter. Another Paige Chapter. And either another flashback or another Paige Chapter. Haven't figured it out! But I'll def. be letting you all know. I'm actually really looking forward to writing Haley finding out she's pregnant with Jamie. So that might be the flashback! **

**I thank you all for your never ending support. **

**Sorry if this chapter is a little short and stiff and not MY BEST by all of yalls standards. **

**Chapter takes place directly after Fourteen. **

**-Kelsey**

**---- **

**Sixteen: A Canyon In Between**

_August 13, 2016_

_Tree Hill, North Carolina_

_**Paige**_

I want to bolt. I want to crawl out of my own skin. But here I sit in front of Haley, stone faced, mouth closed, not touching my burger.

"Paige…I…" And I watch as my Aunt, who always knows what to say, struggle.

"Why is she such a secret?" I finally bite out. "You can name your daughter after her but no one talks about her? I don't understand."

"I'm not the right person to tell you this, this isn't my place."

"Isn't your place? What are you talking about?" And I stare at her brown eyes, wanting to understand.

_Peyton. _The name causes an earthquake. It causes everything to fall apart. It makes me question everything.

"She was Brooke's best friend growing up. They had a falling out." I watch her choose her words carefully. Why is she, honest, honest, Aunt Haley, afraid to tell me the truth?

"When?" I ask.

"Right after you were born." And she clasps her eyes shut remembering.

"Please tell me. I don't understand."

"Oh Paige," She says softly. "It's not anything for you to understand. It's just history, it just happened."

Secrets I know never stay buried. This one's been under the bridge for Fourteen years. Waiting, collecting dust, hibernating. And I have a feeling it won't be like that for long.

-------

My Mother comes in my room late that night. Long after dinner, and dishes, and family conversations.

"I talked to Haley." She said shutting the door behind her.

And I know then, the truth might be on the inside of her cheek. I might finally understand my mother and father. I might understand this mess.

She sits on the edge of my bed and frowns. "She is no longer involved in any of our lives anymore. I'm going to ask you to never ask me or Haley or Nate or you dad about her again."

I stare at her dumbfounded.

"What?"

"You heard me!"

"Damn it Paige! Just stop this, okay?"

She stands up to leave, her body tired, her mind worn.

"She's my godmother." I say. A fact I know very well now. "Isn't she?"

She turns around quickly. I watch her eyes light up. And I see fear and I see heartache.

"How did you…" She reaches down and grips on my footboard of my bed. And I know she wants to scream or cry. But she doesn't want to explain. She doesn't want to tell me this huge secret. She can't even bare it.

What could possibly be so bad? What could it be that seems to rip everyone and everything apart with one single word? What the hell is the problem here?

"The books, Sawyer's books." She whispers. And I watch her eyes and she struggles to put the pieces to a puzzle she honestly knows like the back of her hand.

"Peyton is gone, Paige." She says finally. And I remember her saying the same to my father, to Haley. "She's gone."

And I just want to understand. Because maybe this unraveling can be her fault. Maybe it won't just be me anymore. _Maybe Peyton's the one to blame_. I didn't make this mess, she did.

My mother bites down on her bottom lip, her body solid, but I know those eyes. She's about ready to break in half.

"I'm begging you," She says softly. "For me, just forget her…please."

I close my eyes. And although I'm only feet from my mother I feel the gap in between us widen. It seems to spread for miles, for years, for eternity.

There is a canyon in between us now. And she calls my name over the loud gorge, screaming louder and louder, the words echo in my ears, yet they are never really clear. She is muffled, words insignificant, far away.

I no longer understand her.

I open my eyes. I will do this because it will make her happy, because she's begging, because it's easier. I will forget, or at least pretend to, because it is better for everyone else involved.

"Okay." I say softly.

"Okay?"

I nod my head. "Okay."

"Thank you," My mother says brushing a stand of her dark straight hair behind her ear. "Thank you."

She no longer seems firm or angry or parental. She seems genuinely grateful. Ready to push all that past behind her.

She is relieved.

"Well goodnight baby doll," She says quietly and begins to exit my room.

"Yeah," I say. "Goodnight." She turns around and flashes me a smile before crossing into the hallway and shutting my door behind her.

I stare up at my ceiling and sleep evades me although I am tired. I am tired of today, this week, this month, this whole summer. I am beyond tired. And I realize something very important, as I sit in this stupid bed, on this stupid night. You can never really forget, can you?

_**-TBC-**_

**Thoughts? Please and thank you. **


	17. Seventeen: She's On Your Mind

**Archways and Endings**

**A/N: Yes, yes, yes you are in the right place. I did in fact change my penname. And I like it a lot better now. Kelsey's Evolving just got old. And I figured it was time for me to turn a corner. So I did. What do you guys think of it? **_SingYourselfToSleep _**I love it!**

**Thanks for all of the support last chapter. You guys are so awesome. But as some of you may have noticed, I'm sort of lagging on the reviews. All I'm asking is that you read, you speak your piece at the end. It takes work to write the chapter. A lot less then it takes to review. (Not to say some of you don't put time and thought into them, because I know you do) Plus it keeps me happy. Which keeps me going. Which gets you better and more frequent updates. So it all works out for everyone. YAY! **

**Also: brand new one-shot: "Today It is Quiet" please check it out! I worked so hard on the piece. It took me months! And it's very long. Over thirty pages. **

**So do you remember when we talked about Brooke's affairs? Well now we uncover one of Lucas's. How interesting. **

**By now this story has been being written for a year now. My plan: by next year we will be done. Completed! When summer starts weekly or bi-weekly updates will be put in place. (I'm not exactly sure; it all depends on how the summer goes) Anything but these monthly updates because that's moving too slow and I'm loosing you guys! So starting July 1****st**** you all will get more frequent updates. And that's not what I want at all. I'm hoping to put this at an end by Christmas. But that's not for sure. So go ahead enjoy yourself. **

**Lucas has….. (haha)**

**-Kelsey**

**Seventeen: She's On Your Mind**

_September 2, 2016_

_Tree Hill, North Carolina _

_**Lucas**_

Do you remember when you were young and the whole world lay at your feet? When anything and everything you wanted was right there? Right in reach. And then, then it was gone. And all your fingertips seemed to grasp at was air. Thin and disappointing. A whole bunch of emptiness.

When I was younger my best friend Haley and I would make predictions of the coming year. They changed as we got older and there was one that I cannot forget I made, even if it can't be true, it can never happen, it won't happen.

_Peyton Sawyer will become Peyton Scott. _

Haley and I never talk about this; because we can't. I'm married to Brooke. Me and Brooke have a child together. This is what's supposed to be, now. And I have done my best to believe it's what's right. Brooke and I have something special, even if I've tainted it.

"Lucas," She moans into my ear, her body straddling my lap.

I move my hands up her thighs and she places a kiss on my shoulder blade.

"Lex,"

"Yeah, babe?" She throws her long dark curls over her shoulder.

"Paige is going to be getting home soon,"

And she frowns. We spent too much time making out like teenagers; we didn't get to the sex part.

"C'mere," I say and I hold her face against mine pressing our lips together.

She backs off my lap and adjusts her sundress. "Bye babe,"

Her name is Alexis. We met in AA. And although there's more to the story; there isn't.

She's a lonely girl.

And I'm just looking to loose myself.

In anything other than hard liquor.

* * *

I know on your daughter's first day of high school you should do a little more than hook-up with your "mistress".

Maybe like make French toast, take embarrassing pictures, and spend the whole day worrying.

And go to your job and say, "Today my daughter's starting high school."

I did not make French toast this morning or take embarrassing pictures. I didn't roll out of bed until 10.

I did not spend the whole day worrying. Paige, my beautiful, smart, intelligent daughter did not cross my mind until 3:00 when I knew she was coming home.

I am a horrible father, a horrible husband, a horrible excuse for a man. And I know that should be engraved on my headstone when I die.

I use to drink to forget.

Scratch that, those two beers I limit myself to every night. I use those to forget too.

I want to forget that my life use to mean more than it does now. I use have promise. I use to know exactly who I was.

When I look in mirror I don't know the person staring back at me. I do not know the point.

I know what I'm supposed to know. I'm supposed to love my wife and my daughter and do what's best for them, provide for them.

But I don't know how to do that anymore. I don't think I ever have.

And that's when I'd pick up a bottle. And drink till my body was about to burst from the retention of liquid.

Until her face came to my mind.

* * *

We celebrate Paige's first day of school with a family dinner. We have roast. Paige's favorite.

We sit at the table and eat quietly. Brooke asking questions about Paige's classes and her teachers here and there.

"I'm really glad you had such a nice day." I say finally, swallowing my meat.

"Thanks Daddy," She says smiling at me.

My daughter smiles at me; even though I have practically emotionally walked out on her, damaged her young naïve-ness in every way.

Brooke touches my hand. "It's a really good roast Luke,"

"Yeah, Dad the perfect end to a really good day." She pushes her empty plate in front of her. "Thank you,"

"No problem, sweet pea."

"Is it okay if I go to my room?"

Brooke nods. "Yeah, go ahead."

When Paige finally leaves the room she smiles at me. She's so happy. And I wish I could possess that kind of happiness.

* * *

"I want you to end it," Brooke says quietly.

I look at her like I have no idea what she's talking about.

"Alexis." She says.

"I want us to work, Lucas! I want us to be better!"

"I know you do Brooke,"

"Then why is it that I always have to fight for you? Why?"

I look at her. Because she knows, like we both always do. It hurts us all the same.

"I don't know Brooke. I just wanna feel….something."

A tear falls down her cheek landing on the dining room table.

"I don't want us to fall apart, we aren't 17 anymore."

"I know,"

"Stop saying that!" Her voice is breaking. "You know! You know? I want to feel something. I want to feel like my husband loves me!"

"I do love you." And I do. I love Brooke. I love her so bad it hurts.

"Why do we keep making the same mistakes over and over again?" She asks. Even though we both know I don't hold the answers.

"Because, maybe, we both want to have something to prove."

She nods and wipes the tears from her eyes.

I stand up. "I'm going to go for a walk."

Halfway out the backdoor I hear her yell. "Tell Alexis I say hi!"

And she's bitter, like acid, and it's all my fault.

* * *

I arrive at the graveyard with my moon shining over me.

I say a few words to Keith. Words like, "I know I am a disappointment, I know I can never be the man you were."

And then I go to the place I find the most comfort.

The only place I feel close to her.

_Sawyer…_

"Hi," I whisper.

And read over the stone.

_Anna Rebecca Sawyer._

_Beloved Wife and Mother. _

"I know I only come on your birthday but I was missing her. Peyton told me a part of her was always here. So here I am."

I squat down and wonder about my life and about Peyton. Where she is and what she's become.

I wish everything didn't always have to be such a disaster.

I wish we could all just get exactly what we wanted.

I wish Peyton's silhouette could leave my mind.

Like the bitter goodbye it was supposed to be.

_**-TBC-**_

**He's a mess. I almost hate myself for feeling sorry for him. **

***Please Review***


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